A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. ;D ;D ;D
hehehehehe good one. this could become a whole new thread! my turn: A blonde was walking along the river and saw another blonde on the other side. She yelled, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The other blonde yelled back, "Silly! You ARE on the other side!"
A bunch of blondes walk into a restaurant celebrating and chanting "28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!" Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a waitor goes up and asks "What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??" All the blondes say "We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!"
Speaking of which... (sorry, just discovered comedycentral.com....) A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the can, "For best results, put on two coats".
A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm when she was stopped by a passer-by. "Where did you get that?" he asked. "I won her in a raffle", the pig replied.
Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out on the screen. Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the white-out.
A blonde goes in to get her hair cut but she has on a set of headphones. The hairdresser tells her she has to take them off in order to have her hair cut. The blonde argues for a while then agrees and removes the headset. The blonde falls to the floor dead, the hairdresser picks up the earphones wondering what happened and she hears from the headset in, out, in, out.
How do you get a Blonde to Jump into the deep end of the pool? You put a mirror on the bottom! Compliments of The Twilght Series!
