Discussion in 'Your Religion & Spiritual Center' started by AmandaJ, Dec 3, 2010.

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  1. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    strange title for a spiritual thread? no it really isn't :)

    I was sat thinking last night about how i have changed over the last 4 years, where my spirituality has taken me and about how differently i see things but more importantly about how i feel ablot myself and how i perceive myself now compared to then.
    I used to look in the mirror and hate what i saw ,not just the image of me but eveything as a whole, the years of physical ,mental and sexual abuse had taken a toll on how i saw and felt about me, i wasn't ME anymore i was just an empty shell , i HATED ME, i didn't know who I was. To outsiders i was still funny,smart and a really nice person ( their words not mine) but inside i was a wreck.
    My life turned around when i met new people on a spiritual site and started to understand that how i felt impacted everything around me, I had to learn to LOVE ME and forgive MYSELF for all that had happened , why forgive myself for it ?? it wasn't me who did anything wrong and there was no way i thought i could ever forgive and let go of what others had put me through...but i was wrong i could learn to let go and forgive, because without forgiving there is no way we can move on, some things will and do take a lot longer to forgive than others and it is a long hard road to let go and get past that which binds us to the past, it has taken me up til now to forgive what my dad and exes did to me, but it's no longer my pain to hold, it is theirs, i am still here to be able to get on with my life and more importantly to LOVE ME .
    The main problem a lot of people have is holding onto the past and not being able to let go, these feelings drag us down and when we look in the mirror we don't see ourselves we see what others have done to us, we lose ourselves in the pain, fear and hurt that others have caused us, WE did not ask for this so why should we suffer? WE don't have to if we let go then they are no longer still in control of us ,
    while holding onto anger we are still allowing others control and continually allowing them to keep us down. My friend has always said LET GO AND LET GOD ( hoping i got that quote right ) i never fully understood what she meant until i let go of the binds that were holding me back until i learned to let go.
    What i had to learn first was to LOVE ME, and i use this exercise for anyone who comes to me for help
    i used to stand in the mirror 3 times a day for half an hour telling myself what was good about me...it was amusing to start and also painstakingly hard how can you say good things about yourself when in your heart you don't truly believe them ?? but i kept on at it and finally got to the point wher i can look in the mirror and say I LOVE ME , I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM WORTHY OF LOVE. Those 3 simple sayings totally changed my life around i had the courage to forgive me for letting others make me feel like my life and myself were worthless..........If you can't love yourself how can you expect to be able to fully let go and love others.....i couldn't and it's only in the last 18 months that i have really learned to love me and to be truly able to love someone else and accept that they do love me for being me because I AM WORTHY OF BEING LOVED.....maybe this is nonsense to some but i am also hoping that this will also help others who have been through hell and back caused by other people to look at themselves in a different light and to begin to heal the past :)
    and if it's all backwards i apologise my mind isn't the same due to medication , i know what i want to say but things come out jumbled at times :)
    healing the heart and mind heals the soul :)
  2. Henrysullivan

    Henrysullivan New Member

    HI Amanda,

    I read that all the way through and very much appreciate the thought and sincerity behind it. I am left with a question though, one that seems at the crux of what you wrote. What, in your thinking, makes us worthy of being loved?

    Thanks very much,

  3. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    In my thinking we are worthy of being loved because we weren't put here to grow with hate or fear , love to me helps us to become who we are, it shapes us helps us to evolve. Allows us to feel. there is a lot i could type but my brain is well and truly frazzled today :)
  4. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    :-* :-* sarita
  5. Henrysullivan

    Henrysullivan New Member

    Yes, :-* :-* sarita
  6. Chris0515

    Chris0515 New Member

    I agree whole heartedly with that statement Amanda and believe we should all love ourselves in a non-conceited way, and self pats on the back are a good thing in my opinion if you deserve one and no one is acknowledging that for some reason. Once upon a time I was really down on myself and walked around feeling like an oddball and an ugly duckling through most of my teens and early 20's, and my self confidence was very low and I allowed people to intimidate me. That all changed as I got to be about 27-28 years old and I began to grow into my body and gained more & more experience & confidence in life, and that is also the time I quit using drugs and quit smoking cigarettes and made it all about being a better..............ME.

    ~Kudos again to you Amanda!~ :)
  7. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    :) chris glad you got back on course too
  8. Chris0515

    Chris0515 New Member

    Thanks and I have three words for you............you go girl!
  9. carolyn33

    carolyn33 New Member

    Amanda, You are correct about looking in the mirror and liking who you see. When I was going through that process about 5 yrs ago it REALLY is hard to do. I refer to "The Man in the Mirror" to friends that are just starting out. Glad you caught up with yourself it's great isn't it!!!! Time to live for AMANDA!
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly I will learn to fly agian.

    I agree with what you wrote. People sometimes leave their imprint on us and its not always a good one unfortunatly. Positive affirmations are a good way to help restore the damage. We are all worthy of love, we all have value. Each of us are unique.This is something I had to learn for myself as well a long time ago. Sending you a giant cyber hug friend :-*
  11. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    BUTTERFLY oops lol caps you get ahuge cyber hug back :-* :-*
  12. cynthia

    cynthia I hope to shed this body for a better one some day

    I think it was very brave of you to share yourself with us. You told us private hurtful things and opened yourself up to us. Yes every person deserves to be loved. It is what all human beings need and look for...............LOVE. God bless you.
  13. leviticus

    leviticus Jonah's whale

    Outstanding Amanda!!
  14. lulu48

    lulu48 New Member

    Amanda ~ I didn't know you back when you were going through such a difficult time in your life. I can only speak of the person I see today. You are a beautiful, caring and kind spirit and you have a humor about you which is infectious and brings such joy to those around you. To be able to find your self worth again is a wonderful blessing and you are truly a gift to this forum. I am so honored to be able to call you my friend.

    And you my dear are definitely deserving of love, just as we all are. :-*
  15. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    lulu you hunny are a gawjus soul..............spelling is out the window

    you all are truly deserving of love ..
    this was to show no matter what **it you go through you all deserve to be loved <3
    in my life i have never met such caring generous souls...........each of you no matter what are always here for each other :)

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