Pay it forward ?

Do you practice this? I mean specifically. When you are the beneficiary of a kindness of one kind or another do you try to pay it forward instead of back. I love the idea of making kindness travel and grow that way.

Do you have a favorite way of making random acts of kindness ?

 

I love this topic and YES I do try and pay it forward, and whenever I help someone out with money or let them cut in front of me at the store I just politely say "now pay it forward if you can".

 

yes, quite often--a lot more often before my wife quit her job

I don't have a favorite way--offered to help a lady with a child put all her groceries in her car at Walmart the other day

gave the cashier at a drive thru fast food place $20 for my $2.79 snack, told her to use the change to pay for the person behind me and then keep the change--she said the person behind me only had a $6 order--I said again, keep the rest

wait--here is my favorite way--on my birthday last year, my daughter asked what I wanted--I told her to do a random act of kindness and tell someone to pay it forward and to tell me about it--she was still working at the time before her baby was born and she did something for another girl at work and told her (unbeknownst to me at the time) that her random act of kindness was her dad's request for a birthday gift--I only expected her to commit the act and tell the person to pay it forward and tell me about it--months later, the girl told her what act she had done to pay it forward and said she told the person she had helped that she got the idea because a friend's dad asked her to do that as a BD gift--the person she helped came into some good fortune and said she was doing the same thing for her birthday--asking people to make her gift an act of kindness for a stranger (or even a friend)--it is a gift to the BD person because gifts make you feel good and hearing what someone has done makes you feel good

I posted something about this and predictably, somebody managed to argue a bit about it--big surprise!

I don’t commit the acts of kindness because I think I am noble or all that kind--I have generational survivor guilt--grandmother barely escaped the Bolshevik Revolution in 1918, mother and grandmother both Jews in prison camps in WWII--because they were in the right place, they weren’t exterminated--I survived Vietnam without a scratch--my earliest recollection of the message I got from my granny was not that I was lucky to be alive, but that I didn’t deserve to be--she didn’t exactly say it that way, but that is really how it came across

So I am big on random acts of kindness and telling people to pay it forward so that they are reminded that other people they don’t even know not only believe they deserve to be here, but also that other people would like to make this universal journey of struggle a little easier for them

 

Are we still talking about paying it forward?

 

I don't have any really creative ways of doing this. I got this idea from my brother. I have become a very generous tipper when I stay in a hotel. I used to spend a lot of time trying to figure out the correct tip for the maid and then one day I realized it was a hard job, nobody works as a chambermaid because they don't need the money. So I started over tipping and I leave a note with the money that says $x for the maid so there is no doubt it is theirs. One place where we stayed two nights I got a thank you note from the maid! That was a pretty nice random act of kindness on her part because it made my day.

 

to me, the only difference between random acts of kindness and paying it forward is that when you do the latter, you tell the person to pay it forward--in the movie Pay It Forward, there is, perforce, much discourse about paying it forward

in the fast food example above, I got no credit for the meal I bought for the stranger and didn't expect any--I was really having the cashier pay it forward for the big tip she got (what fast food cashier gets a $11 tip?)--in the birthday example, my daughter lives 1500 miles away and I will never see the person who has decided to pay it forward by embracing the concept--I get no credit or accolades, and whether or not it is quietly done or done with some grand pronouncement is irrelevant--to pay it forward once requires no statement--to perpetuate the chain of kindness, one needs to tell the other to pay it forward

 

psssst, Jim. I think the question was directed to Sarita and her "feeling good when she does it quietly" wink, wink, nudge ,nudge, say no more, say no more.

edited to add:

I like to put change in parking meters that are about to or have expired.

 

I was under the impression that "paying it forward" implied you simply did the random act of kindness without expectations. In other wrods, it's basically a random act of kindness. I do those pretty much every day, and not because I expect either a thank you, nor for the person to even do anything. I just know that at times in my life a helping hand was needed and so I try to give that to others.

It just seems to me that doing something kind for someone, but then reminding them that they need to "pay it forward" defeats the purpose. It's like that Seinfeld episode where Banya keeps reminding Jerry that he let him have the free Armani suit.

 

You just reminded me of the big salad episode.

 

That's how you keep it going. One time we helped some people who were stuck in a huge snowbank. When we finally got them pulled out they wanted to pay us for our time and gas. We said no thanks, just do something nice for someone else sometime. No purpose defeated at all.

 

But I think it works either way or both ways.

I have never told anyone to pay it forward except when they tried to repay me but that's mostly because I am shy and would have trouble getting the words out and then they would probably answer me in my deaf ear and it would get all messed up.

 

good idea--I often leave tips for the ladies who clean the rooms--I leave the money with the corner of the bill(s) tucked under one of the cups on the counter of the vanity in the bathroom

nope commie, I knew he was teasing you (he has some commie in him like we do I think), but I did want to clarify what I thought was the difference between the random act of kindness and paying it forward

yes, someone pointed that out before, but the pay it forward aspect appeals to the person to try to pass on good fortune to others

 

Slightly different. In that scenario, someone expresses appreciation and wants to pay uou back somehow. So insead of taking the remuneration, you tell them to pay it forward. the scenario I see is where you just do something nice for someone, and you pretty much disappear before they even thank you.

 

Anyone old enough to remember The Millionaire show? stories of unknown people who were given, seemingly out of nowhere, one million dollars from a benefactor who insisted they never know him

 

Loved that show--the guy he used to give away the money sure was weird looking wasn't he?

 

You mean John Bersford Tipton ? Did we ever see him? I remember his voice I think. Mainly I remember the money was tax free.

 

I am talking about the guy who delivered the money--you are correct, we never saw John Bersford T

 

Man, you guys are all old and stuff.

 

definitely! that show was on from like 1959-1961

 

I think paying it forward and doing random acts of kindness are both blessings for the one doing/giving. It's amazing how much joy it brings to be able to help others.

The strange thing is when I help people financially, almost always, I find dimes. Dimes in my pocket, dimes on the floor of my car, dimes in my office. My friend AND my ex-husband even started finding dimes and telling me about it. I'm thinking it has to be some sort of sign.....these dimes. One day I found a penny and figured I had to sow a larger seed next week

When Steve and I were at the courthouse getting our divorce filed, a woman was sitting outside one of the rooms crying. I had an urge to give her $20. When I did she looked up and said she was praying for $20 so she could file some paperwork and had no money. She started praising God and thanking me for blessing her with the money.