"Well, you can hear me" and other ignorant comments

Hi! I'm new here, but I'd like to apologize on behalf of all of the family members who have sometimes been guilty of the comments or actions you've mentioned. I don't have Meniere's, but my wife does. In fact, she woke up dizzy this morning and is still in bed. She has it in both ears and uses hearing aids. I have been known to talk to her while walking away and yelling when she asked me what I said for the third time. I keep telling myself that I'll never do that again and, although not as often as before, I'm still guilty once in awhile. I've also noticed that when we're together, some people do talk to me more than her once they discover she has a hearing impairment. That bothers me too, especially if we're discussing her. I usually try to get her involved in the conversation by asking her a question. When she responds they usually include her a bit more and I hope that it makes her feel less uncomfortable.

This is a great thread, keep it going. For those of us without MM, the comments will give us an idea on how we can be more considerate.

 

Welcome TC....it's great that you are interested in coming here and reading about your wife's illness...and that you are sensitive to her being left out.

 

DITTO

 

Welcome TC,

Its great to have people like yourself drop into our world for a brief spell (no pun intended) of course their are others, Soccer Mom comes to mind.
We often find ourselves just not bothering to explain to non MM'ers what we go through and often make up lies when a symtem flairs up.
For example, I have had the same job now for four years, Fortunately as a result of this site I have all the symtems under control (thanks to Acyclovir) except for Tinnitus (ringing and fullness in ears) When I have a bad day and ask my boss to repeat himself he gets very angry and shouts at me as if I were completely deaf.
I find myself apologizing and telling him I have a head cold that has affected my hearing temporarily...................As for my family they are supportive in that they think I have a bad hair day at times (hearing good and bad days)
I have ordered Danny's DVD in hope that my family will have a better understanding of the "BEAST" that has moved in to our heads.
As for my boss well he can *^#< where the sun don't shine.
Please come back and visit us to get a better Idea of what your loved one lives with probably 24/7

Larry

 

As most of you know I'm active duty Marine Corps.

Well I had completed an extension of my contract that would have put me at 20 yrs 7 months. Then afterward I was diagnosed with MM. Well now I'm trying to waive the 7 months and let me retire at 20 yrs of service, 1 May 2007. Statements, forms, and a ton of endorsement letters have given me some laughs.

Every person I spoke with to complete an endorsement letter told me about how one day they felt a little dizzy at their desk. This happened in a least 3 offices I had to get approvals. Maybe more but at least 3. Well I had to explain the difference between getting a little light headed to spending sometimes days spinning out of control and of course getting sick.

They all kind of felt embarrassed after I explained the difference but I guess that is how most of this world thinks of our MM symptoms. "It can't be that bad...I get dizzy too sometimes".

 

Enjoy your retirement my friend, take what you have coming and try to forget about the "BEAST" because you don't know what he has in store for you in the future.................

Peace be with you!

 

I hate that. Or when I ask that something be repeated because I didn't understand the first time, and the person shouts it at me.

 

I forgot my "favorite"!!!! Meeting an old friend for the first time after I suddenly lost my hearing ---- her comment was "You can still TALK!!"
Duh!

 

Sometimes I wounder if people even use their brains half the time.

 

Oh my God! I have heard ALL of these comments!!!!!! I hate when people yell the orders at me to try to help me "hear" them, it's not hearing them that I can't do, it's understanding. Even with my hearing aid I have difficulties hearing, it's like having a bus engine in your head, sure you can hear people talking, but their words are distorted by the bus engine!
And the "just live with it" comment, I seriously wanted to punch the doctor. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately as that would surely have led to a lawsuit), I was too dizzy at that moment to move. I even told him I was having an attack at that very moment and his reply (after examining my ear) was that my ear looked fine so the attack couldn't be that bad! Really?? Maybe it wasn't as bad as it can be, but it was bad enough that the drive home was dangerous because I couldn't turn my head to look both ways before driving into traffic, without vomiting! Not that bad... most people who get the transient vertigos experience less than that and they skip work over it! If I skipped days for that level of vertigo, I would never be out and about.
The other bad comment I've gotten was when I was stuck home with a severe vertigo attack (the kind when you vomit just because you moved your eyes) and my teacher had the gall to say "well you should have spent that time studying" I explained to her that words move when I'm dizzy, but she just assumed I was being dramatic.
Wow, didn't realize this would touch such a nerve in me! Thanks for letting me vent!
Rachael

 

My wife is a nurse and pretty much knew before the doctors knew what I had. She is a good support for me when I have an attact.

 

I haven't worked in many years.
I was told by at least two people "Maybe if you go to work, you'll forget about your illness."
???
So that's the solution! If I only knew it was that easy!!!! :

 

I DO work and still have the problems--so it is no solution--SOME PEOPLE!!!!!

Willie Marie

 

I was told by a family member that when allergy season goes that then I will be able to hear. The only problem is that I do not have allergies.

 

My all-time jaw-dropper was, "You have another ear on the other side. Just deal with it."

So charming. And it doesn't begin to deal with the nausea, dizziness, and tiredness.

And the other ear has problems, too. Just not as severe. Well, I am glad I have the other ear, and I hope I get to keep it.

Oh yeah...I forgot about the doctor who held his watch up to my ear and said, "Can you hear this?" and I looked at him and said, "Um, yes," and he said, "Well, you're not deaf!"

Oh, wow. Real science. Now stuff cotton in your ears and put on some earmuffs, Mr. MD, then put your head next to a running vacuum cleaner, and take the minutes at your next medical meeting. Good luck!

Now live like that for the rest of your life, and I hope you get the same hearing test I did. Well, you're not deaf!

 

.

 

I think as a person with NO good ear and totally deaf, I would say be grateful you have one.

I thought I was the only one who had this experience at a restaurant when the waitress was informed that I was deaf, she asked my dining partner, "Would she like a Braille menu?" Huh?
But as I was working through my online course to become a Hearing Loss Support Specialist, one of the chapters was entitled "Braille Menus for the Deaf" - about people and businesses who THINK they are accomodating people with a "disability" but it is not an appropriate accomodation. Apparently this is a common question directed at deaf people. Can you believe it?

 

.

 

I get this from my 13 yr old son just about every day. He just doesn't get it and I'm not real sure how to help him understand that I really didn't hear him.

(TC) Welcome to the board! I think it's great that you're being so supportive of your wife and reading what most of us have to deal with every day. I've been posting here for a couple of years now and, so far, I can't get my wife to read anything about Menieres, let alone acknowlege how much this disease affects me. Hope your wife is feeling better!

(USMC) I know what you mean about people saying that "they've been dizzy before".

I think the one that drives me crazy the most is when someone tells me that I brought this onto myself and I should stop being so stressed.