I called my grown daughter to let her know that I had been diagnosed with Meniere's. I didn't call to complain or ask for sympathy, but to let her know that my ENT said it tends to run in families. My daughter has also had instances of ear fullness and vertigo herself. She didn't want to get any tests however. But when I told her about my Meniere's she just brushed it off. She told me I should just accept the fact that I am losing my hearing because I am getting old and that everybody loses hearing as they age. I didn't know what to say to her after she said that.
I don't think there's anything you can say now without causing drama. I've learned a long time ago that you can't teach your kids some things. They need to learn on their own. And maybe they say to you that you were right, but most often they don't. Whatever you do, don't let it stress you out and make your Menieres worse. I think a child has to witness an extreme attack to start to get it. I'm sorry you're going through this right now.
I am so very sorry. That is unacceptable. But like anything, you can't control what other people do and react. What I have learned is to never expect anything from others in terms of understanding. And quite honestly, it probably is very hard to understand for someone that hasn't experienced.
Jackie, I agree with BumbleBea and Nicmgr(sp?), It was not until some of my family saw an attack of vertigo and vomiting that they took notice. I won't say they understood, however. I accessed a website at www.hearinglosshelp.com that has been extremely helpful with all aspects of Menieres, hearing loss, tinnitus, etc. I downloaded an article on the balance system, copied it and gave it to my family to read, which helped. It also helped me understand more clearly what was happening to me. I believe the hearinglosshelp website is invaluable. Perhaps someone else on this forum can respond to my assertion, if they are familiar with the site. As far as my friends are concerned, they keep insisting that I will get better, even though I've told them repeatedly that Menieres is a chronic condition. I have had relief, though, from gentamycin. The few attacks since that procedure have been less severe. I have some not-so-good days, and some better days, but am always dealing with the head and balance issues which have put limitations on my activities. But, you do the best you can with what you have. I encourage you to go to www.hearinglosshelp.com, Jackie.
I may be way off here, but sounds like your daughter may have MM to and the fact she will not get tested to get a diagnosis sounds like she is avoiding the whole issue, which could be why she does not want to acknowledge your diagnosis, it brings up to her what she might have. In either case I am sure it made you feel badly, and sorry to hear that was her reaction to you have this debilitating disease. HUGS!
'Leave them alone and they'll come home wagging their tails behind them.' Hopefully, she does not have menieres and is just in a long clueless stage of life which many of us have visited ourselves. If that is the case she will one day be mortified by her response to you today. If she is in denial about her own situation, she will be back when she cannot deny her symptoms any longer. Fortunately, when that time comes, you will probably be able to help her find some answers and deal with it.
The kind of hearing loss from MM should be different from the one caused by old age. I can understand your daughter not wanting to be a part of this talk; no kid wants to know they might get what their parent has. I don't ever involve my kids in my health issues or it will stress them out. She definitely loves you so enjoy your relationship and get your MM support from us over here or others you may meet at your ENT's office. Good luck and see the bright side of things.
I also guess that this topic probably upsets her--in regards to you or her or both, and that is why she is not exactly making sense. My guess is you'll have less stress if you respond to that with compassion, rather than judgement. At the same time you can't make anyone hear something they don't want to hear. I would just make sure you've communicated clearly to her the basic information that would be important for her to know, and then know that she can approach you when she wants to know more. As Intrepid said the two types of hearing loss are different. Old age hearing loss is both sides and higher pitched, while Meniere's is single-sided (at least to start) and usually in the lower range. Here is a chart that might be helpful to share: http://www.asha.org/public/hearing/Causes-of-Hearing-Loss-in-Adults/ If she is not a source of sympathy, I hope you have others who are. This stuff is tough. Good wishes to you.
Thanks for all the replies. I think there is some truth in everything said. Like I said the reason I told my daughter that I had Meniere's is because she had some similar symptoms. She told me she had vertigo while driving home from work one day and had to pull over. She also said she had ear fullness. After the ENT doc said is could run in families I wanted to let her know. She's a very positive individual and doesn't like to talk or hear about anything she perceives as negative. None of my grown children want to think about my husband and I getting older much less getting older themselves. I am 68 and my children are in their late 30's and 40's. While many people may develop Meniere's in their 40's and fifties, from what I understand it can happen at any age. Hopefully no one else in my family will develop Meniere's. My husband is extremely supportive. That's because he's actually seen my attacks and even driven me to the emergency room when I was having an attack before I knew what was actually going on. I am also glad I found this forum and the supportive people here.
My father started devleoping tinnitus and then hearing loss in his early fifties. He's now 65 and almost completely deaf in one ear. We have our moments where we brush it off by saying "listen up old man" or something like that (the next thing to crying is laughing, right) but I certainly take his diagnosis seriously. As an adult child I think it's important that I have at least a basic understanding of my parents' medical conditions so that I can prepare to deal with them as they get older. It's hard, though, recognising that your parents are aging and that they are ailing. And I find my back does go up when my mother tries to tie anything I'm experiening to her diagnosis of diabetes. You wouldn't believe how many times I've had my blood sugar checked and yet she is always bringing it up. It may be that your daughter is dealing with her own awareness of your aging and finds it easier to say things are due to your age than to a possible genetic disorder. It may be that she feels you are trying to push your diagnosis on her like my mother does with her diabetes - which I know is good intentioned but makes me feel like a teenager being told what to do and think again. Or it may be that she just doesn't understand the extent of your symptoms and feels like you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Whatever it is, it's probably best to wait for her to bring it up again and then try discussing again.
Wow - one day i hope your daughter will understand the disease. I was never told it may be hereditary. No one else in my family has ever had it... I sure hope I don't pass it on to my kids. I've got enough bad genes for them to be concerned with (high cholesterol, glaucoma, who knows what else) - don't want to add another one to their list.
Jackie how wonderful for you your husband is understanding and supportive about you having Meniere's. That will help a lot! and one day hopefully your daughter will be too.
I called my mother and told her I had Menieres and that I could loose a portion of my hearing and have already done. I also told her I may loose my ability to drive and she said "Oh Karen, deaf people drive". I just sort of let it be sometimes it takes time for things to sink in.
It can be very difficult for people to understand the limitations and potential consequences that this disease causes, especially for younger people. I myself am a younger person, diagnosed with Meniere's when I was 22, and very often young people cannot at all understand the significance of this disease. People in general struggle to grasp how difficult meniere's is to live with. My family reacted with similar dismissal when I told them at first; saying things like it was just my anxiety or stress causing the episodes. I hope in the future your daughter is more understanding.