Vitolony - have you ever tried Klonopin? My mom was on it for the last 5-7 years of her life and it was the longest stretch of her being "better" mentally than any other time I could recall. While I know it also works for anxiety, my mom said that it was the only thing that would shut down her brain at night so she could sleep. Otherwise her mind would constantly run. One thing I know having gone through it with my mom, there are SO many antidepressant and antianxiety meds that if you are still struggling, ask your dr to try something else. Is there a support group near you that you could get to? Being around others - and typically I have found that people like to reach out to help others even more so when they themselves are struggling. Have you tried acupuncture? During my most stressful times I went to group acupuncture and got more relaxed during that 30-45 min that ever before. I prefer the group acupuncture as alot of places offer sliding scale and in the group environment you are laying back in a recliner.
My doc upped the dose of amitriptyline to 50MG yesterday. Took the first dose last night. Feel more clear today than I have in a while. I also called my psychiatrist last night and asked his opinion about the increasing anxiety, and he said I should give the increased dose of amitriptyline a chance first. The way I feel right now, as long as it doesn't decline through the day, is probably workable. And if I can just get the edge on this thing, maybe the spiral can be reversed and start heading in the other direction, spiraling into health. I haven't tried klonopin. But if the increased dose of amitriptyline doesn't start making me feel better in the next 7 days, I'll call Psych back and ask for something else, or maybe the PCP and ask for yet a higher dose of amitriptyline. They said that there is lots of room to go on that drug. He's been really good about getting back to me and he listens. He's a good member of my team right now. On the idea of massage. The last massage I had made the MAV MUCH worse, lol. So that option is probably out. I loved it, other than how I felt when I got off the table. I did find a balance support group hosted by a local physical therapist. She said it was all just older patients and that as a 37 year old man, I might not fit in that well. And, they only meet once a month, right in the middle of the work day. So the next option I am considering on the general support front is a Bible study a friend of mine goes to. They like to think of themselves as a band of brothers, so to speak. And while their religious tendencies are likely to be something I can only partly invest myself in, I could really use more friends right now, even if only new ones. So that might have to suffice on the support group front, as I can't find anything else directly related to balance disorders. Yoga is a good idea. Though I am already starting Tai Chi, which I think I would prefer to yoga. Same kind of idea though. A physical discipline I can invest myself in that is relaxing. I also work out several times a week. In fact, with all the weight I've lost, I've had a couple women who have remarked on how good I look. If I could just get this stuff under control, my life potentials blossoms over the next several years into the life of my dreams, assuming I make good decisions and nothing else terrible happens to me. And I have such dreams. A life that never would have been possible being married to my wife. I know that sounds heartless. But I have to be able to be passionate about the life I want to build. I could never have that with her vision for our lives. I haven't tried acupuncture. Don't know that I want to either. The idea of someone sticking a bunch of little needles into my body does not sound relaxing. lol Regarding sleep.... There are spiritual aspects of this journey that I haven't shared here, as they make me feel a little crazy to talk about them, and I don't know that I would feel comfortable sharing them in this venue anyway. But there has been a significant spike in my fear levels since the end of October. But conversations with my dad are keeping me grounded in what I would think of as a healthy kind of spirituality. At least, it does not increase my anxiety. And my sleep is much better over the last several nights, without any sleeping aids, except taking my psych pills right before I go down for the night. I'm even starting to dream again, which is cool. So that tells me I'm actually getting some REM sleep. My sleep prior to my hospitalization in the mental hospital was very poor. Some nights I wouldn't be able to get to sleep until 3-4 in the morning, then up at 9 or so to start another day. I've never been one to do well on so little sleep. I need a good 9-10 hours a night. It was the fearful spiritual things I couldn't stop concentrating on that contributed the most, I think, to my mental decline. So recovering the love and the sound mind the Bible talks about has been important. Do you guys have problems maintaining a stable body temperature when the MAV is out of control? Is that a symptom of migraines? Today I feel pretty even keel, but the last few days, I have been wearing a jacket around work and the house because I feel so damn cold all the time. Then when I go to bed, I feel hot and have to throw the covers off. But then I end up sleeping cold most of the night and it isn't very restful. Did better last night though thankfully. Woke up this morning with that pleasant warm feeling of wanting to snuggle back under the blankets and tell the alarm clock to go away. lol Blood tests came back, all negative. Nothing else funky going on in my body. No thyroid issues. I'm actually really happy about that. I did not relish the idea of having another chronic thing to have to manage. Though it might have been nice to have something concrete and a little less nebulous to pin all this on. Talked to my dad again last night. He's going to show up the morning of December 4th and stay through December 13th. So I'll have my dad with me here in Colorado for 9 days. If I'm not feeling better by the week of the 7th, which is 12 days from now, I'm punching out and heading to California. The doc approved my disability this morning, so if I do move to California, that gives me 3 months to get this shit figured out before the money runs out. My place is almost ready to sell. I'm going to do my damndest in the next 12 days to get better. If I can, awesome. If not, at least I'll have family and a quiet place to try to continue to recover, even though I'll have to build a new medical support system. Psych, neuro, PCP, ENT, counselor. The bigger issue right now in terms of support, is family. I want to thank you guys. You've been really helpful through this crisis. I am grateful.
It sounds like things are starting to come together for you, Vitology. That is great!! Having a game plan is so very helpful! I am so glad that you are seeking a support system where you currently live, and if you do need to leave for a bit, you have the family supports system there. Please take care and keep us posted on your progress!
For what it's worth, if done correctly the acupuncture needles don't even hurt. If it does have a sting you tell them and they remove to reinsert. It is all in the technique. For me group acupuncture was more comfortable because you are in a recliner, regular clothes and they use the area elbow down and knee down. Much more comfortable. I am glad that your dr upped the med. Also glad that your dad is coming out for a week or so. With the med and support coming soon, I truly hope it helps you turn this corner!
I'm happy the doc increased your Ami, you may have a side effect of a dry mouth,that's a sign that you are taking enough.It also takes some time,although you may feel better right away as you have done. It usually takes at least 3 weeks or more for it to build up to a level where it is at it's most effective. It is also a very safe drug and has been used for decades. You also may get to go off it in the future once your brain calms down. Good luck,I'm glad you are feeling somewhat better.
Yes on the dry mouth. A clearer day than typical again today, though I had a crappy day yesterday. Does broccoli ever cause you guys problems? And even though I had a slightly less dizzy day today, the combination of divorce, devastating chronic illness, considering a major move to another state, which will entail a change in employment status... any one of these things is enough to push a person towards the edge. It seems like it will be a miracle if I make it out of this with my mind intact. And I don't know how to adapt to these things. My life as it was is over. My mom tells me that it is simply that a chapter is ending and that another is beginning. But its hard facing down this many changes, not to mention the changes I am making to my lifestyle to adapt to this migraine condition, to not think that life is simply over, not just a chapter. How do I adapt to so many changing things? Another question. Do any of you still use the John of Ohio regimen? I ask because several of the components are intended to affect circulation in the head. And migraines are a circulation problem of the head. Do any of you think those components could be contributing to the MAV? Perhaps by lowering the threshold? Cause I'm still taking most of the JOH components with the exception of Ginko, as it decreases the effectiveness of amitriptyline, according to a pharmacist I know. Am I likely to experience a relapse of the meniere's by dropping the JOH regimen and going only with anti-virals?
Hi vitolony Honestly, in your situation, I would eliminate all but the safest foods and drinks for a few weeks to see if you have food triggers. I'd also see an allergist for extensive testing to see what environmental factors might be triggering your episodes. I'd try antivirals at high dose for at least 6 months. You still have a lot of bullets to try before giving up. You may not like adapting, but the fact is that you will adapt. You won't lose your mind and you won't commit suicide. You will slog through the best you can, and eventually there will be a window and life will be enjoyable again. Your kids will return to you eventually, perhaps when they're 18 and not under someone else's control. My cousin lost his three kids to divorce and never saw them bc they went to Canada. They all returned to him when they turned 18. Kids want a father. They may not know it now, or be able to do anything about it, but they won't just forget you. You might want to get therapy in the meantime to help you navigate these rocks in the river. Anti depressants are useful as well. Best wishes.
Vitolony, I struggle with change personally, also struggle mightily with things I can't control. So believe me when I say I understand. For me, 2012 was my worse year. I struggled ongoing with the cluster attacks, a couple of drop attacks, my mom in/out of the hospital with major medical issues, my cat dying unexpectedly (very hard as my cats are MY kids) and then the end of 2012 my mom passing away unexpectedly. Then in early 2013 I moved across country from WA to VA. I had lived in WA for over 30 years. I have family close by (reason) and while able to transfer within my company it was a different job, new people, new...... So, as it applies to what I went thru I will share my thoughts on your potential changes: Divorce - while not optimum, clearly things have not been great so having a "final" outcome should result in an ultimate reduction of stress Chronic illness - unfortunately, it is what it is. BUT the one thing "sure" about this thing is as quickly as it becomes and stays active, it can go inactive. Hold onto that. It can improve. Major move to another state - if you decide that, simply embrace what positives it will bring (close to your dad, better doctor); both of which could/should ultimately contribute to you feeling better emotionally and physically Change in employment status - it could turn out to be better for you. In my "new" life here in VA, while I would go back for sure if it meant my mom was still alive, has been scary at the start but ultimately positive. While I don't get paid at the same rate, I have less stress. Less stress (for me) means less attacks. I have family close and my co-workers understand my condition and know that they may be called upon to drive me home if needed (it has happened twice). Change was hard and the fact that the change because my mom passed away and not MY choice, made it harder. But with some time, looking back, it ended up being good.
Yep, already doing that. My safe food list right now contains the following items. Chicken. Asparagus. Brown Rice. Rice chex. Rice milk. Ginger ale. I don't even necessarily know that all of these things are actually safe for me. They are just the least threatening things I've found documentation on the web about for migraine sufferers. And right now, loosing weight is as much a threat to my health as anything else is. I'm hovering around 200LBS. Recently weeks excepted, I've not weighed this much since I was 16. I can see my abs right now. lol Did you know that not all humans have 6? Like... a six pack. I've got a 5 pack and it would be impossible for me to have 6 pack abs, even if I lost more weight. Interesting things you learn about yourself in a crisis. Already done that as well. Long time ago. I am allergic to dust, mold and grass. Haven't had much control over my place of residence as my wife was a very messy person. I am too, come to think of it, but I have wanted to live in a clean, chaos free environment for a long time. I am now getting my wish. Just wondering how much I really wanted it now that I have it. lol I've been on 800MG, 2x a day for quite a while. Since April or so.... I'm actually trying to lower the dose right now, as I don't want to keep red lining my kidneys. Had blood work done recently and nothing is amiss, but I still don't want to take them at that dose forever. If I can manage to stay in Colorado, or at least come back in the near future, I will get to be with my children. This is a rough patch, and once I am emotionally stable again, which is just a matter of time, no court in the world is going to look at what I went through, the choices I made in the midst of these circumstances(which we actually very healthy, appropriate choices), and a new found emotional health, and deny me my kids. So I'm actually not too worried on that front. The thing that does bother me is what this will cost my children. I know people say that children are resilient. But the thing that really hurts is the fact that my youngest has already been through the ringer with medical issues. Diagnosed with a kidney disease at 2 years old, spent the better part of the next 2 years on steroids and immune suppressants. Later diagnosed with celiac disease and life threatening food allergies. Asma. Skin issues. And now she has to potentially loose her father for some months (years?) because his health won't allow him to live in Colorado alone. There is even the possibility I can't really live here without dealing with this condition forever given the elevation. I've heard and read numerous reports of people not being able to live at high altitude with migraine conditions. Colorado Springs is 6500 feet above sea level. Much less oxygen in the air here, not to mention just much less air period. I'm building up a collection of house plants, partly for the living company, and partly for the oxygen they produce. I know they can survive having a father who lives 1200 miles away. Skype, cell phones and plane tickets. My issue is that I don't want them to have to. That hurts. A lot. It's just a level of existence with my children I never contemplated being possible. Seeing a therapist tomorrow afternoon. Might even be joining a church soon. lol. Just for the friendship. Even though the religious tendencies of church going people in the evangelical meca of the USA (Colorado Springs) is likely to be unwelcome. But perhaps I can find a few good folks to just hang out with on occasion. Friends. Thank you.
That's what my mom keeps telling me. And rationally, I understand that if I can get control of some of these things, the rest of my life could become quite beautiful. I do look forward to that. It is as you said though. Change. So much change all at once. Job. Residence. Marriage. Health. Children. My mom keeps telling me that it's just the closing of a chapter. And she would know, she's faced most of these things, albeit never all at the same time. My dad too. He gets cluster headaches although he is in remission right now. His second wife literally tried to kill him. And he has almost been killed on a dozen or so occasions. I was born into the right family. They walked very similar paths that I am walking now. Just never all at once. I do have hope. It's just a fragile, whisp of vapor of a hope. All it takes sometimes is for me to feel a little dizzy and bowling ball headed and that hope shatters and I can't stop crying. So many hurdles. So many challenges.
Had a pretty decent day yesterday. Only to wake up this morning, not having done a damn thing different, on the verge of vertigo. Feeling slightly better now after breakfast. I slept till 9AM. I've been sleeping until 8-8:30. Was sleeping till 9 a mistake? Could it be the weather? Are you more prone to feeling crappy with MAV due to the weather? We've had a snow storm rolling through the Rockies for the last 2-3 days.
As for me, I get migraines from sleeping too long and exposure to bright light, so I try to keep my sleep schedule the same. I wouldn't think that just a half an hour would do it though. It sure stinks to get punished for sleeping too long.
I'm actually pretty sure that isn't it. I woke up at one point around 7:30 or so, and I could tell I was already feeling shitty. Must be the storm and the barometric pressure changes.