Let me just say I don't like being out in heat and given the fact that every time in my life I have been in a pool I have gotten an ear infection. Now with Menieres I don't even want to try a pool. I am nervous enough taking a shower or bath. I could use ear plugs but then I wouldn't be able to hear her or my kids. Then there is driving um no I don't want to drive unless I have too. I have tried telling her but she doesn't seem to understand maybe I am saying it wrong any suggestions?
How about, "How sweet of you to think about me but I am really not a pool person." Leave it at that. Most people don't like to hear about our symptoms; they can't identify so it comes across as an excuse. Saying being at the pool is not an activity you enjoy is something she can understand. I'm sure there are activities she doesn't enjoy.
Great reply from Intrepid. Always measured advice. She is right people don't really want to hear about our conditions. They don't understand unless they have experienced it themselves. I learned a while ago that it's best to keep it to yourself. If people don't like a reply it's their problem. Bouts of vertigo, vomiting, dizziness, difficulty hearing, crowded rooms, job pressure, partner and family problems are enough for us to cope without worrying about other people and their disinterest and understandable ignorance in our unfortunate affliction.
I tried telling her I wasn't a pool person she suggested I just sit pool side.... I think ouch sun burn.
Is it possible that you are not giving her a clear and firm answer? Maybe you are sending a mixed message and she thinks she is doing you a favor by getting you to come out there. When I say no, I mean NO. I don't give a reason if I don't want to. Just say no and don't be apologetic about it. Maybe you need to look into what you are replying and how you are saying it. If you are writing about it here it's clearly a problem for you. Do you have problems with saying no to people and setting boundaries?
No I say a lot to things I know my exact words where "I am not a pool person I don't want to go". Her response was "Oh come on it will be fun." She is one of my pushy friends. I do love to hang out with her but I would find a pool not fun more like a prison camp task for me. I am just arg about the whole thing.
I havent been swimming since the Menieres. That's 4 years ago today. :-( I even have SCUBA certs, and I haven't touched the water in 4 years.
Then just keep saying no. Her idea of fun isn't your idea of fun in this case. Do what you gotta do to be happy and safe. It's not an issue anymore if you have said no. I think you just need to make peace with whatever guilt you may be feeling. Come up with some other way in which you guys can visit and hang out that you are comfortable with. I love hanging out at the pool and am headed there shortly
I had (yes, past tense) a friend who kept bugging me to go cross country skiing. I told her no thanks I hate xcountry skiing. She wouldn't let up. I finally offered a deal. I love my exercise class, but knew she wasn't interested because she doesn't think she is coordinated. Anyway, I told her if she is brave enough to join me at ex class, only then will I join her skiing. Of course she never showed, and I never got put down for not skiing anymore. Not necessarily a solution for you, but it just reminded me of it. Let us know how it works out! (How about, well if you insist but you might wind up cleaning up my puke, having me sleep over until I can drive again, babysitting my kids... Yeah it'll be fun!)
She asked me again in text message and I sent her a response that got her attention. " I would rather live in a refugee camp then go to a pool but she was welcome to come get my son who is her friends son and he can go and spend the night. She now accepts my no. While I feel sort of bad I just am not ready to go to a pool at this stage in my Menieres. I wouldn't have fun.
I am glad you got that settled. Since I have Meniere's at a young age, I have gone in pools throughout my life, I love being in a pool, but I am extremely protective of my ears and make it known NO one is to splash me, I never go under water and stay in the 3-4 ft area so there is no chance of me going under or sometimes I sit at the edge and dangle my feet. But I completely understand your not wanting to go, if I got MM as an adult I probably wouldn't want to either, but being so young and going to camp where we swam and going to friends pools I did things w/o thinking in ways as I do as an adult. But ofc I only go swimming if I feel balanced. You can't drag me out of the house if I don't.
Nope I am not. I teach at church and I have more friends then I ever did in my life. But I am uncomfortable driving still and the thought of sitting beside a pool instead of it upsets. I did try to tell my friend that but honestly people are clueless unless they have ever had a vertigo spell. Do I feel like crawling into a shell. Sometimes but I don't do it. I am even seeing a counselor.
I feel the same way about pools or any water. The last time I went to the lake I got dizzy from looking at the water & would have fallen in the lake if someone had not been standing in front of me. I fell into them instead of the water. Baths are enough challenge.
Verti I didn't even think about the water making me dizzy. We live n ear the Ohio river an when I see it go up and down my head starts to spin. I bet a pool with people in it would be worse!