So, the past few weeks has brought a lot of rain/pressure changes, which pretty much guarantees that my Meniere' s symptoms rear their ugly heads. Add that to my allergies and a ton of extra stress I've been under lately- equals me, the Queen Of Unproductivity reigning over my bed (or sofa, If I'm feeling social). My amazing husband, who is normally so amazingly supportive and helpful, understanding, compassionate, thoughtful, selfless and kind, has been picking up more than his share of the stuff I haven't been able to do- snapped this morning and called me lazy this morning. :'( This kills me. I do what I can, when I can and never know when or how much I can. I've learned to be honest and upfront with people about my limitations, don't over commit and try not to disappoint. On the rare day that I'm feeling OK, I work like heck to get stuff accomplished and spend time with my family and the few friends I have left who don't think I'm a lazy flake. I really feel bad when I actually leave the house after a long stint of vertigo, vomiting, pajama-wearing, sofa- dwelling he'll and people tell me I don't "look" sick and why can't I run the 5k fundraiser? I actually expect comments like that from people I don't know, but the lazy comment from my dear husband threw me down a dark hole of sad. Sorry so long, thanks for listening.
Does your husband drink alcohol? If so, buy him a good bottle of tequila, and make sure he drinks it all. Immediately thereafter, escort him to the fair, and put him on the tilt-a-whirl for about 2 hrs. straight. After he gets done puking, advise him that he needs to clean the garage out when he gets home. After all, he doesn't look sick at all! When he's done cleaning the garage, tell him:"Welcome to my world".
LOL Mike. People sometimes let things build up then explode. You think they are coping but instead suppressing. It is a scary disease for everyone. The solution is talk it out. You can tell him you understand that more is demanded of him and that is he is probably afraid, although he might not be aware of it. My wife only asks how I am feeling. I know at times she is scared, because I am! Trying to tame this beast his tough and takes time. Good luck.
That made me laugh, Mike B. Thank you! Yes, he does drink alcohol, a few beers here and there- but my question is who is driving to the fair? I can't decide what's more dangerous- drunk driving or dizzy driving! I guess we'll UBER it. In all seriousness, people who have over-indulged in alcohol and experienced "the spins" seem to be the only ones who understand wth I'm talking about when I explain that I have vertigo and the pukes. Their eyes widen and a look of sheer horror washes over their face. "Ohhh, no!"They say. Oh yes.
LOL Mike! I completely understand how you must feel. It's hard to be like this and have to depend on others to help you. Last couple of months when I couldn't drive I depended on my husband to take care of everything. Major kid issues and all. He is one to say everything is fine, he is fine, don't worry about it, I don't mind...etc. Well one day he just blurted out that he was tired and had to take care of my appointments, kids appointments, me being sick, working 48 hour shifts, and he was on overload. It made me feel really bad. I think on some days he thought I was also being lazy, and some days still, but they just don't understand it's not as easy as pushing through it and fighting being sick. Meniere's kicks you flat on your butt. I hope you start to feel better. I like Mike's suggestion. LOL
Thank you all for your replies. It's so reassuring to know that there are people coping with mm that truly understand what an insidious disease it is. I have been a member of this forum for many years, ( I think it was 2009) but I don't post unless I'm at the end of my rope with whatever is plaguing me. You know what they say- When you're at the end of the rope, tie a knot in that bitch and pull yourself up. It doesn't hurt to have someone at the other end of said rope pulling for you.
Mike you're a riot! I get the same sometimes so I'll do what I can until I literally drop from spinning and need help to bed...how do I look now? People do lose control every now and then but don't feel guilty. They don't always understand but a loved one will come around. It's hard to accept that we have THIS disease when there are no outside symptoms with other serious diseases. I'm sorry. I know you feel hurt. Talk it out. We do leave a great burden on our loved ones and we don't know how we would react were the situation reversed. I wish you well.
Mike you're a hoot! I solved the problem a few years ago with my brothers by having them slam down 4 shots of tequila quickly (after a few beers) while wearing a pair of strong prescription sun glasses (not theirs) and run around inside for about 20 minutes. After the bruises, vomiting, and inability to get off the floor unassisted - they had some understanding of our daily lives and haven't made a negative comment since.