Gotta admit, I'm pretty miffed right now. I've missed more than a week of work and therefore I have started an FMLA claim with my employer. I really hated to do it, as last time I did it was for heart failure and it just reminds me of that dark time in my life. I should get feedback soon from my doc as well as the company as far as if they will cover short term disability for me. My father in law is one of those hard core guys who thinks that anything physically wrong with you is because of your own weakness, and you didn't try hard enough therefore it's your own fault. He believes that if you don't read the side effects on a medication then you won't get any of them. So, you can imagine how he feels about my MM. He didn't really believe there was anything wrong with me before with my heart failure until I was actually put on the transplant waiting list. He basically said that if my dad hadn't ever told me about his MM then I wouldn't have it. My dad had his first attack in 1996. I had mine possibly as early as 1999. LIKE I WOULD CHOOSE THIS AS SOMETHING TO DO OUT OF BOREDOM?? I wish he had been there the last time I had a severe attack. The spinning. The vomiting. The blood. The shaking. He says it's all in my head. On the flip side, he would do anything for his daughter and grandkids, and has taught me more about fixing cars and stuff around the house that anyone else. So he's good people, sometimes. Just a vent post I guess, but it can be so difficult to describe this disease to anyone who doesn't have it. If you don't have it, you don't know. If you have it, I don't need to tell you. Thanks for humoring me, anyone have any tips on dealing with this kind of behavior?
As much as I hate to say this, I can understand this guy because I WAS somewhat like him, perhaps not to that particular level (I always read medication labels, etc.) and I never had an issue with people that had physical disabilities or obvious problems, but I did have an attitude about people who had "illnesses" that were unseen, I always kind of thought that it was probably in their head as well. I mean I was raised to be a "man" and to be "tough" and never let anyone see you cry, etc. I'll tell you from first hand experience........its amazing how much of an attitude adjustment an illness like this can give you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being punished for thinking the way I used to think, but then I realize that it just doesn't work that way. I'm not being punished for anything, its just the way things are. Overall, I'm healthy and strong and in great shape and I know plenty of people who are in much worse shape than I'm in health wise, so I still consider myself fortunate.....even having this damned MM. Anyway, I'm sorry you have to deal with that, especially from someone in your family. It certainly doesn't make things any easier. On a personal note, I never much cared about what other people think anyway one way or the other.......and that's always worked for me. Stay well!
I try not to tell too many people about my challenges because I don't like to hear a lot of opinions. Thankfully I don't live near any relatives so they know little about my day to day life. My family has told me since childhood "It's all in your head" when I complained that I didn't feel well. In my family free time was spent sitting around the TV drinking and eating chips so when i stopped these habits in my 20s, became more active and stopped eating processed food, they mocked me. I felt hurt and got a support system that worked for me. I usually think of myself as different than my family but sometimes feel angry. I have supportive friends who share my goals for optimum health, love for our fellows and nature. I'll try to remember not to judge others.
Any time I have to see certain relatives: 1) I REALLY want to wear a t-shirt that lists the top ten things not to say to someone with an invisible illness. 2)I want to deck myself out in Ménière’s support gear(yellow bracelet, ball cap, necklace) 3)I want to hand them educational brochures about a)what Ménière’s is and b)the impact Ménière’s has on quality of life 4)Let them know that in lieu of presents contributions to (insert name of some Ménière’s related research foundation here) will be made in their name from now on 5)Thank them for all of the love and support I’m sure I’ll receive from them going forward ::then I wake up from my fantasy::
You're father in law is a funny jackass. The not reading the side-effects label so nothing will happen to you thing is hilarious. He probably hates superstition, but that's a kind of superstition too. A few things that he thinks hints at a pretty low I.Q. (at least in certain areas). "So he's good people, sometimes". FAS. Love that line. There's someone close to me who has that "it's your own fault" attitude. He's a health nut and semi-anorexic. Whenever someone in our group gets ill, he'll always mumble stuff about, "well, you gotta lose weight." Or, "I keep telling you to go vegan." Or "that's what happens when you (pretty much do anything he's not doing). I could get really mad at this guy, but like you, I sense they're kinda nutty. Like it's really beyond their control. There's a psychological distaste for sympathy. It makes them feel uncomfortable. The whole extreme tough guy thing is some kind of neurosis. Like Marie said, I avoid them or don't talk about it to them. When you complain you know they're just sitting their scoffing at you in their mind.
MBG's father in law. http://www.relatably.com/m/img/old-tough-guy-memes/82990644.jpg http://overlymanlyman.com/tabasco/ https://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/376220/Tough/
Ah yes...and then we wake up. Tying to provide educational info usually gets me a nice eye roll or two.
LOL - The funny part is that he’s not that big of a guy but he’s insanely strong. His youngest son came back from Afghanistan, ripped and hardened from artillery duty ... tried to show his dad up and promptly got pinned to the floor. This is also the same guy who broke up a fight at an Applebee’s between two young guys that were all out swinging. He just got up, rushed over and “HEY BOYS STOP IT!!!” and shoved them apart. They looked at each other and decided it was time to leave lol.
Jeepers, mbg. I don’t know your FIL, but I dislike him on your behalf. Since you can’t dislike such a swell guy, I’ll do it for you. ::Quick! Pupper, get the Tabasco! I’ll hold him down, You make him cry, “uncle!”:: ::From then on, he was sweet as molasses to mbg.::