My name is Logan. I'm 26. This happened to me at a very stressful time in my life. That's saying something because no part of my life up to that point had been easy. I was physically abused by my opiate-addicted father -- so badly I was adopted. This instantiated a deep distrust of people that were closest to me. Classic abuse-mistrust. I was an awful person for a lot of my life. I used to quote, 'there is no beast without cruelty'. I used this to justify my actions. Five years ago that began to change. I began to see my actions from the perspective of others and realized the second meaning to the aforementioned quote. I'd become the cruelty. It hit me over years. Blow after blow to my paradigm. Eroding walls I had built up. I found the only thing truly meaningful to me was helping others and it persists as the only thing I have found to fill the void. And it does fill the void. This condition hurts me, but when I think about it, I think of everyone's pain. As desperate as I am, I know others are even more desperate and it hits me like ice. I believe nothing needs to be accidental and purpose can be found in darkest depths and deepest pain. I will continue to try to promote activism and research till the day I die because it's who I am. There's no other path for me. Be the change you want to see. Be the strength others can depend on. Even if you have to stand alone. I know what it's like when the world feels like it has turned its back to you -- and I will not become another cold shoulder to someone in pain. This is my unique purpose. As difficult as it is, I have to do something. Everything. Coping is something we all must do in the meantime, but there's a fine line between coping and another excuse. We can fight and we can win. There are no secrets to winning. Winning could be replaced with the word trying. Inevitably, those who try, will win.
Hey Logan, I'm sorry you have had such a tough start in your young life. It looks like you have risen above and gone through some pretty dark times.It's wonderful that you have turned your past into the pursuit of helping and defending others. It is much appreciated. I admire your passion. We are here for you.
I appreciate it infinitely James. I didn’t mean to make it sound like a sob-story — just trying to relate context. I was really a terrible person. It was over years of failure I figured out my path wasn’t the correct path. I lived in a dead reality and slowly moved to the land of the living. Credit to amazing guidance. I think that’s the appropriate place to be — making positive changes even when they first appear insurmountable and, frankly, even when feeling like dizzy trash.
That's wonderful that you were able to turn it around in your twenties. I've known a lot of people who held onto that cruelty well into their thirties and even after having children and repeating the cycle. If you would like a new quote you might like Vonnegut, and this is the one I keep in my mind: “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind."”
https://discord.gg/tR7Uzqn This is a Discord server I've created for Awareness and Research -- anyone can join. I don't care what is discussed as long as it's legal and will adapt the channel to accommodate additional topics if necessary. The primary function is, of course, to beat Meniere's disease. For those unaware of what Discord is, it is a free real-time text and audio chat designed for games and online communities -- especially YouTube. I think a real-time group chat would help us tremendously to organize and expedite awareness strategies. It is bare-bones right now. I will flesh it out tonight and tomorrow with correct settings and channels.
This weekend we’ll be recording a challenge video. Participants and weather allowing. Watch for it on the FB group pages.