Four days of hell. Loud roaring in both ears that is driving me over the edge. Trying to ignore it, but it just gets me down by the end of the day. Dizziness and unsure feet for four days. I seem to be stumbling around and spinning for brief periods of time, but very often. Also headaches, and new types of hearing distortions that hurt...especially at the lower end of the sound spectrum. One minute TV is too loud and the next not loud enough. I don't feel good but I try so hard for other people...I don't want them to feel bad. Sometimes I feel like giving up. My partner says go back to your ENT but all I get is "take more steroids again." Sometimes I feel lost and alone and quite pathetic. I sleep 12 hours some days and still don't feel good and also lightheaded and woozy. I want to give up on this low sodium and caffeine diet, since it has not helped me very much. I seem not to want to talk to very many people except for you all....and I don't know why. I hope I feel better tomorrow. Even my Xanax is not helping me. I am trying so hard to live and enjoy, but some days it doesn't seem worth it.
Hang in there Jimmy - MM SUCKS! We have all been where you are and just know that there are good days that are coming. I was pretty much dizzy every single night (outside of vertigo) and per June's suggestion, went and got allergy tested by an allergist (not at the the ENT). The allergist does more in depth testing. Anyway, after getting "no allergies" from the ENT, the allergist found some allergies to mold and trees. I'm in Cincinnati and the mold is terrible at times. So I started allergy shots a couple of months ago and noticed that every time I got a shot, I got vertigo that night. They diluted the vials and I'm going less often for a slower build up. In addition, I'm now taking Allegra every day to help with the mold and "knock on wood" I've only been dizzy at night maybe twice in the last 2-3 weeks (whereas before it was EVERY night)! Just telling you all of this because I'm not sure if you have ever had extensive allergy testing, but it may be something to look into. From your past posts, our stories seem very similar so I thought I'd mention it! My ear isn't any better, but we all know, the dizziness is what is brutal! Good luck and hang in there.
Jimmy, sorry that you feel discouraged. Glad that you're able to write how you honestly feel. It helps me to know that I'm not the only one who gets discouraged. hope you find something that helps.
That sucks Jimmy. That all just really sucks. I'm sorry. If the low sodium and low caffeine isn't helping, then in my opinion, give yourself SOME of life's pleasures back.
I agree with Pupper on the lo-so and caffeine. I was convinced that coffee was playing a role in my many months of dizziness but now I don't think so. I am riding 26 days of non-dizzy and my only explanation is that I got back on the Northstar brand A/V in mid-June and it seems to be working. I have a cup sometimes two of coffee every day a with no I'll effect. Although I try to eat right, which naturally means reduced sodium, I don't count my milligrams. I hope you find relief soon.
Thanks to all for your kind words. Hearing and roaring levels have improved just slightly today, making me feel better. I was very dizzy getting up this morning and then it waned and I had a pretty good day. As I have said previously, trying to predict how your day goes seems to be difficult. This is a crazy, unpredictable and illogical disease. Several things I have discovered: personal stress increases the roaring, very salty food does make symptoms worse, and listening to loud things hurt!
Down? It's where we are, where we live. My DNA decided Meniere's wasn't enough, so I got heart attacks, non-Meniere's related blackouts, lots of broken ribs and vertebrae from falls, and a pacemaker to join my cochlear implant. Since November, 2016 one infection after another, the last one, a bone one, so bad I am in the midst of multi-week IV antibiotics and hyberbaric oxygenchamber therapy. MM is bad enough. Add a bunch of other stuff, and you ask at least two questions: why bother to continue what passes as living, and why burden the system with health care costs better spent on better people? And yes, that is a value judgment. For me, dying will be a release from a life that has largely been unrewarding, despite all my accolades and accomplishments. I am nearly 70 now, feel like 90, have raised four daughters not my own biologically, and three survive. So have done my job from a societal standpoint. But it seems pointless. My wife and I will leave our daughters comfortably off, but they don't deserve that. They never "got" that life is struggle, that you have to work and fight to succeed, that you can't rely on anyone but yourself. We let them rely on us, and that was wrong. They still do. Two old, ill parents, and we are still the economic engine of our family, and it is not fair. My wife will always be that way. Me, I just want to be done with it all. And in the end, what put me here was Menieres. It is a horrible, insidious ailment that few of our loved ones understand or care to understand. We have to persevere ourselves, and pretty much alone. Which is why this forum matters. Here, we are among those who know. And I have resolved that I will keep posting here on occasion unless and until I decide I need to make a final exit. It is getting very close. I am so tired of doctors and hospitals, and since I don't have Alzheimers, I know how much of my life they consume. I guess I am saying you should live the best lives you can. Given my DNA, I would have been happier had I never been born. But that's me.
Brownrecluse, My thoughts go out to you. I appreciate your clear view of things. Some would say a hardened view. But no matter, there is undeniable truth in it. I suppose at a certain point sentimentality becomes a luxury. You've lived a long life. To lose along the way The spark that set the flame To flicker and to fade On this, the longest day -P.H.
Oh--how very hard this life can be if our health goes 'downhill'! I think probably we can face 'most anything' if our health and stamina holds out. Having said that--I want to say to you, Brown Recluse and to you, Jimmy---please 'hold on' and if you can--get some professional help for your depression! I 'really do' understand--I've not gotten to where I want to 'not see another day', because I have been blessed so much in my life--and life is precious--even when things get as bad as they are for you both and for many here and others with other conditions that make life soooo difficult. Try not to look at 'all the days ahead' to deal with this and take it 'one day at a time'---get the very best medical treatment you can find--including mental medical help (the same as if you had a physical problem). Family issues can add to these problems--I fully understand that also. Just focus on 'getting yourself' better. I cannot imagine dealing with all you two have had to deal with. But you've faced it so far--so I know you can still find life 'worth living' again! I've certainly had my share of difficulties--gotten very depressed and felt like--when is this going to get better? But--I refuse to let my life go away before God wants it to--and I hope you two realize many folks don't get a 'choice' in that--and you still have that choice---life is precious--painful--etc. but it's where we are and how we handle it that counts. I'm almost 80 now and hope to have many more years ahead--and will continue to deal with this the best I know how--one day at a time. Please---get help--don't give up! Praying for you--for all of us! yanksgirl
Brown recluse. I understand. When this disease first started last year I wanted to walk out in front of a car and was almost in a catatonic state. The people in this group helped me including one special person who recently passed away. I had only retired for eight months when this hit me. It is a struggle every day. I quit trying to remember how things were, but look at what can I do to improve this difficult life. I realized there are people who love me, and I love them despite all of our shortcomings, and we all try and live each day with some meaning and enjoyment. As Yanks girl said, you need to seek help for the mental aspect of this illness. It has an effect on your state of mind. I take medication to help me. Zoloft gets me through the day. It helped me today to look outside and see the hummingbirds, and watch an episode of the Pioneer lady....simple things yet they helped. Please do not give up, and continue to talk to us. I think a first step would be to change your name. How about Grandaddy Long legs? It is a lot nicer than being a brown recluse.