Funny one liners

Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of BS around your mouth.

 

Me, too!

 

I used to wear Obssession perfume, then I grew out of it.

 

My boyfriend told me to go out and get something that makes him sexy...
So I got drunk.

 

What's worse than waking up and finding a penis drawn on your face?

Realizing it was traced!

 

Three words to ruin a mans ego, "Is it in?"

 

Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to put them into.

What do men consider foreplay?
Half hour of begging.

Girl, "Hey, what's up?"
Boy, "if I tell you, will you sit on it?"

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A Quarter Pounder with cheese.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and use it again.