Loss of a mother.

As I sit here writing this with tears rolling down my cheeks,
I’ve never felt so alone.
The darkness is total, the hate is rising.
My rage is consuming the person I used to be.
I am her no longer. I am a burnt up shell of who I used to be.
The joy I used to have has been sucked out of the room.
I can’t breathe.
The air is so thick I can almost cut it with a knife.
When will this nightmare that has become my life end?
When will the pain and despair leave?
My grief seems to overpower me,
Bringing me down into an empty hole with no way out.
I start screaming, praying someone, anyone can hear me.
All I hear is the echo of my screams,
The voice in my head saying no one cares.
No one sees me, the pain behind the mask.
They see the smiling, happy girl I show them.
How can I let them see the darkness in my heart?
It would scare them.
So instead, I trudge on and pretend to be fine like is expected of me.
And I wait for the day someone will see through the glass and I will no longer be alone.
The day you left us my life changed forever.
How am I supposed to go on like before?
My mother is gone, and I am left here to take care of the family,
The aftermath of the destruction to this family