Hello, fellow writers. I figured it was high time someone wrote a book featuring a main character with Meniere's. So, I wrote one, and I'm currently on the journey to see if I can get it published. I'd love the support of the Meniere's community on this. If you want to help, please follow me at https://www.facebook.com/SueGoodreauWriter/ and check out my new blog at suegoodreau.com. I wrote this years ago just for this website. Hope you enjoy! EDEN REVISITED Now the Lord God planted a beautiful garden in Eden. He filled it with all kinds of trees, full of food that not only looked good but tasted delicious. In the middle of this bountiful garden grew the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. “This is an awesome garden, if I do say so Myself,” the Lord God exclaimed. “I think I’ll put Adam in the garden to take care of it.” So Adam found himself in the garden of Eden. He had no complaints. “Thanks, Lord! This place is great! I’ll see you later--I’m going to check out the rest of the place!” “Hold it,” the Lord God said. “Not so fast. We have to go over the rules.” “Sure, Lord. Whatever you say. You’re the boss.” Adam got comfortable on a mossy rock, got out his writing flint to take notes, and waited for the Lord to speak. “You can eat from any of the trees in this garden, but don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you do, you’ll die.” Adam looked at the Lord. “That’s it? That’s pretty easy--I didn’t even need to write that down! Can I go now?” “Oh, yeah. Just one more thing,” said the Lord God. “You can’t eat salt. If you do, your ears will clog up, your world will spin, and you will surely think that you are going to die.” “Piece of cake, Lord. With all this fruit, who needs salt?” The man enjoyed the garden. He ate a lot and pulled weeds and hung out with the Lord. He even named all the animals. One day, Adam saw the animals licking a white rock. “Hey, Lord, why are the animals licking that rock?” “That is a salt lick.” “Gee, they sure make it look good,” said Adam as he stared at the rock. “Don’t forget, you can’t have any.” “No problem, Lord,” said Adam, a little less convinced than before. “Piece of cake.” Adam ate and pulled weeds and hung out with the Lord, but he felt all alone. The Lord God caused him to fall into a deep sleep, and when he woke up, Eve was watching him. “Hi. I’m Eve. You must be Adam.” “Lucky guess,” said Adam. “This place is great. Look at all the food!” exclaimed the delighted Eve. Adam was pretty delighted, too. He showed Eve around the garden and taught her to pull weeds. Then he showed her the tree in the middle of the garden. “Don’t eat anything off that tree. The Lord said we’d die if we did.” “Okay,” said Eve. “Oh, and don’t eat salt. If we do, our ears will clog, our world will spin, and we’ll feel like we’re going to die.” “Piece of cake,” said Eve. Adam and Eve enjoyed their life in Eden. They hung out with each other and the Lord, pulled weeds, and ate from the bounty of the garden. Every once in a while they eyed the salt (even though Eve was trying a lot of new recipes, in the end, fruit was fruit), but they remembered what the Lord God had said and kept their distance. One day, Eve was walking through the garden when she heard a noise. “Pssst. Eve, over here.” Eve turned towards the voice and saw a serpent, the craftiest of the Lord God’s animals. He was sitting under the tree in the middle of the garden, huffing and puffing from polishing all the apples. He wanted them to look extra tempting. “I was just wondering, Eve,” smiled the serpent. “Did the Lord God tell you not to eat from any of the trees in the garden?” “The Lord God said we could eat from any tree here except for that tree above you.” The serpent’s smile widened. “Don’t those apples look yummy? So red and juicy. Why don’t you try one.” Eve looked dully at the tree. “No thanks. The Lord said we’d die if we ate from that tree.” “Pish-posh. That is not what will happen. Instead, you will be like God!” exclaimed the serpent. “So,” Eve grunted. The serpent gawked at Eve. “Don’t you get it? Your eyes will be opened! You’ll know good from evil!” “Is that all? Look. I’m sick to death of fruit. You’ll have to have a better reason than that if you want me to eat another apple,” said Eve. “Excuse me, I have a pie to bake.” The serpent watched Eve, unable to believe his ears. This was going to be a challenge to tempt the humans. He sat under the tree, thinking. Suddenly, he had an idea! The next day, Eve was walking through the garden when she heard a noise. “Pssst, Eve. Over here.” As Eve turned towards the voice, she smelled something wonderful. As she got closer, she saw the serpent sitting under the tree in the middle of the garden, smiling at her with a fangy grin. Her eyes lingered on him for a second and then widened when she saw the tree. Instead of apples, the tree was filled with the most tantalizing foods she had ever smelled. Double cheeseburgers. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Pizza Hut Pizza. Long John Silver’s fish and shrimp dinners, complete with fries and slaw. “Oh, my,” whispered Eve. “Looks better today, does it?” the serpent smirked triumphantly. “Go ahead. Eat something.” “Will I still have my eyes opened and be like God?” asked Eve, her eye glued to the tree. “Maybe, maybe not.” “That’s good enough for me!” exclaimed Eve, stuffing the Long John’s shrimp into her mouth as fast as her hands could pick it. “Shtay wight dere, I haff da ged Adam!” Eve found Adam taking a nap in the sun. “Adam! Get up!” exclaimed Eve. Adam sat up, wondering what the wonderful smell was. “Look what I got off the tree in the middle of the garden. It is SO good! You’ve got to try it!” Eve held out a crispy shrimp. “No way, Eve! The Lord told us NOT to eat from it, or we’d die.” “I’m obviously not dead. Do you want the cheeseburger instead?” Adam looked at the greasy cheese oozing down the side of the bun. “Give it here!” he yelled, grabbing the burger and taking a huge bite. Suddenly, Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened. That’s more that they could say for their ears, because, just as suddenly, their ears clogged. Their world began to spin, and their ears began to ring. The Lord God had been right. They felt like they were going to die. After a while, Adam and Eve knew the Lord God was looking for them. Even though they couldn’t hear Him calling, the Lord is a pretty big guy, and they could feel the vibrations of His footsteps. Thanks to the Lord God’s booming voice, Adam and Eve were able to hear Him calling when He got close. “Where are you?” the Lord God called. “Over here,” Adam and Eve weakly responded. The Lord God found them lying under some bushes. “Are you hiding?” asked the Lord God as he peered closely at them. Adam and Eve surely wanted to hide, but they were too busy having vertigo attacks. “No. We can’t get up. We can’t even lift our heads. We feel awful.” “Have you eaten from the tree--the one I told you not to eat from in the middle of the garden?” the Lord God asked. Adam and Eve thought about lying, but since they’d deposited most of their stomach contents in a heap at the Lord God’s feet, they knew lying was fruitless. “It’s Eve’s fault. She waved that burger right under my nose. Who can resist that?” whined Adam. “What did you do, Eve?” asked the Lord God. “It’s not my fault. That serpent tricked me, so I ate,” Eve said, trying to focus on the Lord God as he did ninety degree spins. The Lord God said to Adam and Eve, “I’m really disappointed and saddened. For now, I think you brought enough punishment on yourselves. I’ll be back; I have a serpent to see.” The Lord God went to the serpent and cursed him. Then he came back to deal with Adam and Eve. It saddened Him to punish His children, but the Lord God is a just God. “Eve,” God said, “your husband will be the leader of your family. I will also make childbirth painful for you, and even though you will tell your husband never to lay a hand on you again as you give birth, you’ll change your mind. Your children will be allowed to eat salt; actually, they will thrive on it. You will be forced to watch them scarf pizza and Doritos and lasagna while you eat white meat chicken and broccoli.” “Adam,” God continued, “You will have to work the ground and grow your own food, battling thorns and thistles. It will be exhausting work, but no canned veggies for you. Everything you eat will be a result of your toil and labor until the day you die.” Adam and Eve looked even sicker now. But, because God is also a merciful God, He gave Adam and Eve some anti-nausea medication and took care of them. When they were well, God gave them the news. “You can’t stay in the garden anymore. If you think temptation was tough here, wait until you get into the real world. You’ll be driving by McDonalds and Wendy’s everyday, knowing that you can’t eat most of the things on the menu. When you indulge the kids, you’ll watch them eat Big Macs and Ranch Chicken Sandwiches while you have a salad that has been plucked clean of cheddar cheese and bacon bits and covered with an invisible amount of dressing. The television and radio and magazines will display a dizzying amount of salt-laden food, all calling your name. You‘ll have to turn a deaf ear to them all.” So Adam and Eve went to pack, but after realizing that they had nothing to pack, they said goodbye to the Lord God. “Will we ever see you again, Lord?” they asked. “I’m sending you away from the garden.” The Lord God said as He gently laid His hands on Adam and Eve. “Not away from Me. I’ll be with you. You’ll need Me more than ever now. Every time you call Me, I’ll be there.” Adam and Eve looked at each other. Suddenly, fruit wasn’t so bad after all. Would they ever eat anything as delicious again? As they left the garden of Eden, hand in hand, they looked back at the Lord God. The Lord God took pity on them. “Cheer up!” He called after them. “I’m working on a new thing called ice cream. Only thirty milligrams of sodium per half-cup! It’s fabulous!” Adam and Eve smiled. Life would be a lot harder. But life would still be good.