Off Topic

I know I should put this in front porch but I really need your support.
For some reason my food allergy fears are getting to me bad and I am having small panic attacks.
For the last 3 years when I put something in my mouth, whether it be food, a drink, medication, I always have a fear about what, if any reaction I might get. But I have been able to control it for the most part.

But the last 2 or 3 days, it is really getting to me and my panic is bigger. I'm thinking maybe because I am seeing that Doctor for it, its keeping me aware of how dangerous my allergen can be. But I am so glad I am seeing her and hopefully one day soon not have to worry about it anymore.

I am trying to reason it out but its not like a usual panic attack this has a real reason behind it. I feel so vulnerable and scared of ending up in the hospital or even dying from ingesting something that could hurt me.

How ironic my life is, I've lived in fear of vertigo since I am 13 years old, now that's pretty well under control its replaced with another horrible fear. Food should not be allowed to hurt anyone, you cant get away from it, its everywhere.

Thanks for listening

 

I get panick attacks when I start getting a vertigo attack. That's the only thing I can relate to. Though I do have a number of food allergies and issues. I'm allergic to shellfish, I have celiac disease, and eggs in sufficient quantities can make me nauseated. My daughter does as well, and hers are a lot worse than mine. How many food allergies do you have? Do you cook all your own food or do you still eat out and eat processed foods? Preparing all your own food might be a good option, if you don't already, because you have a high degree of control over what you are about to eat. It takes time but often it's actually cheeper than the alternatives.

However, our anxieties are not always rational. Mine certainly aren't. So a rational approach (I am over rational often, to a fault, so forgive me if it sounds like I'm not taking your feelings seriously), might not actually help you feel better.

People like us often suffer from varrying degrees of PTSD. We weren't in war getting shot at, but these kinds of experiences threaten our safety and our ability to be okay. Heck, when this is over for me, I'm heading straight to a therapists office to deal with how traumatic my vertigo attacks have been. Approaching this from a purely emotional perspective could offer you significant relief. Finding a good therapist who is knowlegable in hypnosis and EMDR(Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can MANY times alleviate the sources of our anxiety. EMDR especially. REALLY effective technique at dealing with trauma.

 

thanks Bea and Viking,
My panic now is directly caused by my food allergy, and I too am allergic to shellfish. Shellfish and peanuts ( I am not allergic to peanuts, not yet anyway) are the two most dangerous food allergies that can result in a life threatening reaction. I carry my epi pen with me always.
I never realized how many products are made with shellfish or parts of it even cosmetics.
I read every label.
I haven't eaten out in a restaurant or at a friends home in 3 years since my first reaction. I cook all my own meals but I do shop at trader joe for groceries because they have a phone line to call that will check every or any item you ask for if shellfish/fish are in the facility of the item I am inquiring about and or made on shared equipment. Cross contact is a big concern.

The problem is I am accumulating more allergies as time goes by, I got an allergic reaction to corn last summer and now to more medications. I am also allergic to dust mites and cockroaches( don't think I will be eating those anytime soon )

But you are so right that we suffer from PTSD.
When I had my first allergic reaction to shellfish and learned how serious a shellfish allergy can be I was in heightened panic for a complete year. I was petrified of food and hardly ate for the entire year. I lost a lot of weight I would take one tiny bite and wait to see what would happen to me so I hired a life coach who specializes in food allergies and she was wonderful! she is now with FARE which is the biggest food allergy research org. She got me through a very very rough time.

If this continues with my heighten sense of fear I will call her and have a few sessions with her to get through this.

 

Look into EMDR as well. Please. In terms of dealing with trauma, 1 session of EMDR is as effective as months of talk therapy. That's a very broad generalization, but it is that effective. It is based on the idea that when we get stuck at a point of trauma that causes the kinds of issues you are dealing with, the underlying problem is partly a physiological one wherein the 2 halves of our brain, the emotional and the rational, are not fully communicating regarding the issue at hand. As it pertains to the matter of the trauma, the person who suffers is stuck in the emotional half, unable to connect with logical processes that will mitigate the anxiety you are feeling. You get locked into the negative emotions you associate with the trauma and are unable to break free, hence the anxiety. EMDR involves tactile, visual, or auditory impulses that hit both sides of the brain, while you are doing this, you are focusing on the traumatic event or circumstances and how they make you feel. Then, you kind of just follow the little white rabbit, so to speak. The experience usually guides itself, though a good practitioner will often help to guide you to a resolution. It helps your brain put 2 and 2 together, and reprocesses the trauma, only this time effectively. You are no longer stuck in those negative emotions.

As an example. In addition to all the other crap I have to deal with, I have tourettes. NOBODY told me what was happening to me when I was a little boy and I started making funny movements with my face and my shoulders. I was ostracized by my peers, utterly humiliated. Since nobody told me what was happening to me, I thought it was just my fault. "They're just habits" was what I told everyone else. I had no language, no understanding to help me put the things happening to me in the right context. I ended up believing I was a freak. My parents did nothing for me in this except to tell me to stop that thing with your eyes! As if I could! It was so traumatic for me, that I segregated it from my normal mind to the point that I was almost 2 people. 1 person was the "Nick" (my real name) nobody else would ever see. He was responsible for controlling and hiding my tics. The other "Nick" was the one others would see. And NEVER the two shall meet. I was sitting in a therapy session when I was about 31 with my wife dealing with completely unrelated issues, and the therapist was getting to know me. She asked me a seemingly innocuous question. "Have you ever had a problem shrugging your shoulders?" She asked. She was picking up on the latent things I couldn't quite hide and had in 20 minutes figured out exactly what kind of problems I have that my wife of then 10 years didn't even know about.

I was INSTANTLY 7 years old again feeling as humiliated as I EVER had. I shut down and began to cry right there in her office. My wife just sitting there completely confused. THAT's trauma.

@1-2 months of EMDR once every 2 weeks over the matter and I no longer felt any shame. That might sound like it wouldn't have been that difficult, but it was a herculean effort for me, to absolve that poor little boy of any wrong doing. It WASN'T his fault. He's not a freak. I didn't want to believe that though. I was stuck in the emotions of shame, unable to see the events for what they really were. I had a 25 year old secret trauma that EMDR helped me overcome in very short order.

I know I sound like a preacher. lol I just really believe in EMDR as a technique of dealing with trauma.

 

HUGS!! vikingman I know from which you talk about So glad you got through it.

 

thanks so much nicgmer I do carry an epi pen with me in and outside of the house, but ofc I have another complication that makes it even more dangerous for me. I take a beta blocker for my high bp and beta blockers block epinephrine, so my allergic reactions can be much worse and the epi-pen might not even save my life

I tried going on a calcium channel blocker since its the only other bp med that controls heart rate as well as bp but guess what.. I got a reaction to it.

 

Just talking about it and not holding it in I feel so much better! Thank you so much everyone.

 

I would hug you too Vicki, but you might not like that very much. Santa at least smells of egg nog and chocolate chip cookies with a hint of cinammon. I on the other hand smell of raw meat, sweat and lutefisk. Us Norwegians... we smell.

 

aww thank you! you all made me feel so much better. I was crying when I wrote the post but after reading all your kind words and support my tears dried up and I felt calm again HUGS!!!!

 

Thank you bytheBay and Deadeye, you all have really helped me get through it yesterday. HUGSSSSS!

 

Thanks nicgmer! You're mom and I struggle with the same thing, seems all my life its been one thing after another and you said it perfectly just when I think I got something under control bam another pops up.
The good part is I am usually a positive person despite it all. But now and then I crumble, but it is usually short lived, thank goodness.

I am truly overwhelmed by everyone's kind and caring words. It makes such a difference. My family and friends can't really understand but you guys truly do and I so appreciate that and you all being there for me!

 

*I meant friends and family I see in person because I feel you all are my friends and family as well and sometimes on a deeper level because we all share something the others can never fully understand.