I ended up telling him to go ahead on his trip. My parents don't live too far but will try to not let them know he went because my parents will have a fit. The kids will be here with me so I won't be completely alone. I spend so much time alone with him at work as it is so what's another three days. He deserves the break. Most everything has been put on him lately since I've been sick.
Ok, I'm hearing, "most everything has been put on him," and we all think that sometimes BUT you have a disease that you can't control and you have to learn NOT to feel guilty about it. Just a guess. It was a very unselfish thing that you did. Don't be worried! You'll be fine and you're not alone. Maybe some MAN time will bring him home in better spirits. You'll feel better too because you pushed him to do it. I think we all learn to make adjustments in how we view things. I had to learn that it was okay to ask for help. I had a busy fulfilling day. I'm ready to enjoy tomorrow. I have a beautiful home and a wonderful family. I have pets that make my heart swell. It's all about the little things too.
I think that it is great that he is going to go on the trip. Believe that it will help him but also you. The more that you try to live your "normal" life the better you will feel. I know for me when I had a really bad stretch it was a revolving circle (no pun intended) I was feeling crappy and scared to go out, but the more times I couldn't go out it just made me think about this horrible disease more. And reality is that when you think of all the times that you didn't do something "in case you went dizzy" you realize how much of life you missed out on because it never happened. You had the shot, things are going better. Take a deep breath and don't worry. Everyone has times that they need to count on someone else - right now is your time. Don't feel bad about it. It was a tough thing for me to learn how to let others help me. Still not the easiest.
Yep, the queen of guilt here. I do, and I know I shouldn't, feel guilty for having a disease. I know if the roles were reversed I wouldn't hesitate to jump in and do what has to be done because I love him. I struggle with it being reversed and feel like I'm putting him out and causing trouble and becoming a burden since I can't work right now. That's an issue I need to work through and get over it at some point. Today was a pretty good day. Groceries and celebrated my son's 19th birthday. My 15 year old daughter is a challenge so spent time trying to sort out what trouble she managed to rummage up the past couple of days. All in all a decent day. I've got my boxer snoring beside me on the couch and my other two laying on the floor sleeping. A hair cut is on the agenda for one of the dogs probably Sunday.
Exactly how I feel BumbleBea! It is a daily struggle trying to put myself first and letting others help me. I hope I can learn to accept stepping back a bit but I realize it will take time......forever time.
Still good despite 3 days of cleaning and cooking. I'm so happy and yet I'm afraid it won't last. It won't take time if you do it now. There's NOTHING wrong with taking care of you.
Wish I could muster up the energy or ambition to cook and clean for half a day, much less three. Hope it keeps up for you Bea!
I've been on both ends of that spectrum. This is a big test for me and how I feel tomorrow after all of this may tell me this is for awhile. I know I'll be tired but if vertigo stays away I'll be extremely positive.
Hope the vertigo stays away, Bea. I had a small episode yesterday and feel plain awful today. Having some major trouble with my 15 year old which isn't helping. Got up at 5am this morning to find she had snuck out the bathroom window and was no where to be found. She finally came home an hour or so later. Lately it's something EVERY single day with her.
She's bold but she's a teen and it's not uncommon for teens to do that sort of thing. Don't stop calling her on it though. I remember those times. They do grow out of it. Hope you're feeling better. I did good. Just tired today but I anticipated that.
Trying to mostly rest today but have done a bit of house work here and there. Not feeling awful but not great either. Can't wait for my husband to get home tomorrow.
That's the way to do it. A little at a time and rest in between. You'll be so happy with whatever you accomplish that the things you can't get done don't seem so bad. He'll be home soon. I know you miss him. I feel like I have rubber legs and arms. My arms hurt from brushing the dogs for soooo long. But it's also a very relaxed feeling. Hubs and daughter have been so good today. We were all anticipating a major episode after a party because it used to always go that way. Not this time. I'm feeling more hopeful but I still want my anti-viral changed to Valcyclovir.
I'm so glad you didn't have an attack and was able to enjoy your party. Looking forward to my husband coming home tomorrow. Lots and lots to do. Withdraw daughter from school, get her transcripts, set up homeschooling, plug along and beg insurance company to get her into residential treatment because her behavior isn't only getting worse and there is nothing left for us to take away from her. She has no privileges, no phone, no mp3, game, nothing left. It's all gone. She still continues to find ways to find trouble. Putting alarms on windows tomorrow so she can't sneak out without the alarm going off and have to have a code to cut it off. on a good note, my son is starting some vocational rehab next week that will last about a month, they provide transportation and the hope is that it ends in a job of some sort for him that he can handle. Back to the couch to do nothing.
Thank you WOW, you are going through a LOT. I give you credit for being so strong. You're doing all of the right things as far as I'm concerned. Have you ever considered family counseling? My cousin filed for divorce after years of her husband cheating and her daughters were teens and blamed her. Family counseling brought them back together.
Yeah, we have done family counseling. My husband and I are fine. The kids on the other hand are well....it's hard to describe. One has Asperger's and is on disability and we're trying to get him a small part time job which will hopefully happen through the vocational rehab class starting next week. My daughter is bipolar can't seem to get it under control. She see's a therapist, both kids go to psychiatrist, I go to both as well for obvious reasons. Husband gone 48 hour shifts at work, I can't drive, can't work right now, and just plain think I may be losing my mind at times. So yes, we do all do therapy.
Therapy is good. At the very least it's someone to talk to. I'm bipolar too. It took me awhile to get on the right meds but now that I have my moods are stable all of the time. You must be a very strong woman keeping it all together. I'm still doing well but I am inordinately tired, so I'm sleeping a lot. Got everything ready for hubs surgery tomorrow and they had a problem and moved all of the surgeries to Wednesday. Sighs. Keep it together and get in touch soon.