Things that annoy you

That's a great angle. About the only things I thank my past self for is never getting divorced ('cause never married). And never having kids, especially by mistake. (Though I really like kids).

I've thought about your angle but not in the same way. I've always thought how my present self really needs to set things up so my future self won't be burdened by me.

 

I’m annoyed with being agitated... too tired and wired to focus and get something done, too wired to rest properly or nap.

Ok I’ll put on my big girl booties and try a little walk in the snow.

 

Someone standing close to me while shopping. I'm not an unfriendly person, but this really bothers me for some reason. If I want chicken and someone is standing at the chicken, I'll just go look for something else and come back.

That we can't be friendly to kids anymore. Well, as men we can't. Because all the pervs screwed it up for everyone else. Since like 20 years ago I've barely even acknowledge them. I used to go to the dog park and kids would come up and ask about my cute fluffy cocker spaniels. I'd just give them a brief answer while not even looking at them. I'm not alone in this. I've talked to a lot of guys who say the same.

I had a gf in the 90's. She'd leave me alone with her elementary school aged daughter, to go shopping or whatever. I didn't like it. We got along as I'm a kid at heart. Played tackle football with her at her request (tomboy). And video games. Watch tv etc. But she was an angry screwed up girl. All a kid like that has to say, for whatever dark, attention seeking reason, is, "mom, he put his hand on my leg." Or something much worse. And your whole life is either ruined at worst, or at best you'll always be suspected. Another correlated thing I hate is the overprotective mom, who if her kid strays more than 10 feet away, yells, "Cindy come back here!" I was at Khole's the other week and a mom had 3 kids around 11 to 13. ALL she repeated for 15 minutes was. "Come back here." "C'mere". "Jason get back here." "Tommy I said stay with me." She was in the shoe aisle forever. The boys would go just one aisle over and she'd bark this stuff. I was about 2 seconds from telling her "lady you need to leave. you don't have a right to come here and make everyone else miserable." If she's that paranoid, then pay a sitter, and go shopping alone and enjoy herself. I could see if her kids were real young. Young enough to be snatched up. But these were boys who could slug away at someone if they needed too. I do not envy anyone for having kids. Everytime I'm at the store it seems like the mom has a horrible experience with them. My parents didn't. We'd wander off everywhere. Never got snatched up. And never got out of hand.

Anyway, what was I saying. Oh, yes. We need giant, government-funded day-care centers so moms and their kids can stop driving everyone and themselves crazy.

 

At the risk of answering a rhetorical statement, & blabbering, it bothers you, likewise the majority of bipedal primates, because standing too close to someone is, subject to culture, personality type, scenario & environment, often a primal transgression.

Mutus mutandis prolonged periods of eye contact, various forms of body language, & short, sharp, abrupt vocal expressions.

Over the course of mammalian evolution, or specifically in this case primatial evolutionary development, primates were often killed, forced to copulate, abducted for the purpose of future copulation, significantly injured, or considerably compromised when in close proximity to "strangers", unidentified members, nonkin members, or those affiliated to another tribe, whether composed of conspecifics or no.

Consider both interspecies & intraspecific competition. Homo sapiens were not only at war & in competition with members of their own species, Homo sapiens were also at war with Homo erectus, Homo habilis, Neanderthals, & Denisovans. Consider also that most Europeans harbour, if I remember correctly, 1 - 4% Neanderthal DNA. We were, thereupon, doing much more than competing with other, now extinct, species of the genus Homo.

All primates feature dimensions of personal space. Physical & psychological radiuses which splinter into four basic categories: intimate, personal, social, & public. Primates devoid of this trait, over the course of primatial development, on average didn't survive to reproductive age.

Subject to culture, the individual who stands too close to others will either feature smaller than average physical dimensions of personal space, or you, like me, feature slightly larger physical dimensions of personal space. More often than not those who stand too close to you mean little to nothing by it. It's simply a mismatch of demeanours.

Then there are people who consciously stand too close, posture, & hold eye contact for longer periods of time in an attempt to establish dominance.

To distinguish one form the other, it's worth paying attention to. Body language in general is fascinating & worth paying close attention to, regardless of the animal you're interacting with.

If interested, personal space is found under the rubric of proxemics. A multidisciplinary area of study tethered to fields such as psychology, sociology, anthropology, communication, linguistics, & architecture.

Subject to scenario, it is simultaneously a necessary feature & an unwanted bug— xenophobia, tribalism, othering. It is an element found in all mammals, primates particularly, & has deep, primal, evolutionary underpinnings.

Once an individual's radius is breached, stress responses, or possibly acute stress responses occur. Subject to relevant factors, these responses vary from individual to individual. From subtle displays of submission, avoidance, challenge, to possible physical confrontation & warfare.

If I remember correctly, you were raised in the South & later moved to the North East Coast, or the North West Coast, to either California or New York, no? Southerners, on average, preference a slightly greater radius of personal space than New Yorkers or inner-suburb, city dwelling Californians.

Those raised in Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, & Houston are likely exceptions to the above, rough criterion, granting the population densities of said areas.

The radial dimensions of one's personal space is dictated by the combination of both nature & nurture. To name three, the individual’s personality type (nature), their personal experiences, & the population density experienced during developmental years (nurture).

Considering this, individuals raised in rural areas, again on average, will likely harbour greater radial dimensions of personal space than those raised in a major city within the same state, too.

 

Thanks Nathan, besides being impressive, very informative.

 

Being told to smile. Even if all is well, being ordered to smile will put me in a bad mood.