Tips or tricks to relax?

My most relaxing time is when I am out in nature. I take lots of walks near the lake or ocean. I walk through the woods and hike mountains. I take in the views and the sounds that surround me. If you are unable to take nature walks invest in a good set of headphones and listen to sounds of nature when you are feeling anxious. For me nature softens my mind and opens my heart.

 

Could you possibly elaborate? By elaborating you'll place me in a better position to help you.

When you say you can't, do you mean you're unable to stop thinking, that you're unable to clear your mind of thought? Do you consider successful meditation to be a period of time in which your mind is free of thought?

 

To zoom out & unpack, the deeper motive of meditation is introspection, the act of observing & understanding the nature of your mind.

A convenient byproduct of introspection isn't the act or ability of ignoring thoughts, but rather the opposite; a skill set that allows you to pay attention to the content of your mind from a nonjudgemental distance. A manner of attention which prevents you from becoming lost in thought, from becoming disoriented by emotions, from becoming an extension of (in your case stress), from identifying with, & becoming the victim of thoughts.

It's not so much what it is & isn't that you pay attention to, but rather how you pay attention to your moment to moment experiences. For example, the first thing to notice about anxiety, or stress, is that it's not all that unpleasant, as the raw sensation of stress & anxiety is so close to that of excitement, that only real difference separating the two is the way in which you frame them.

Meditation is a method of introspection that prevents you from being held hostage by neuroticism & discursive thought. To be aware of your thoughts & emotions as they arise, so to prevent them from creeping up behind you, fastening their strings, & rendering you a nonconsensual puppet.

Ram Dass, if I remember correctly, described this aspect of meditation well when he said "it's not that I've conquered my neuroses; I've become a connoisseur of them".

Hence when you practice, you are in fact doing something, rather than nothing, & the something you're doing is both important & productive. Not only for yourself, but for those you love & for those around you.

 

I find that reading books helps me to relax. Concentrating on the content of the book helps to divert my mind from other things. It doesn't have to be any particular subject matter--anything I find enjoyable will work. Reading for a few minutes before I go to bed is particularly helpful and helps me to fall asleep faster.

 

I totally enjoy my nature walks