Friend wearing mask: “Ken Swanson (a mutual acquaintance) is going to be the Parade Marshall for the Calgary Stampede Parade this year!” Me: “Cool! What did he do that was so special to be chosen for that?” Friend: mumbles stuff about film Me : “wait, say again, who??” Friend with mask off momentarily : “Kevin Costner” When I explained what I’d heard, it gave her and me the best belly laugh!
My friend who lives on a farm: "My dog goes to the next farm, and steals their shoes. They didn't mind his visits, until he killed one of their kittens." I was all shocked and sad, but she and my husband were just, like, oh yeah, makes sense. What she actually said: "... until he killed one of their CHICKENS."
This one is appropriately festive! Watching an episode of SeaQuest DSV: What I heard: “Eat the Christmas tree as fast as you can!” What was actually said: “Meet me at the Christmas Tree Trench as fast as you can!”