Can a person be saved who carries around 40 yrs of hate?

Discussion in 'Your Religion & Spiritual Center' started by leviticus, Nov 20, 2010.

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  1. leviticus

    leviticus Jonah's whale

    Is it possible for a Christian to hate for that long? Can the Holy Spirit be in your heart and you still have those feelings?
    I know that when someone just begins the Christian Walk it takes awhile for God to lead you through the steps to totally purge you of all the worldly habits and attitudes that we have but 40 years, how can that be?
  2. June-

    June- New Member

    Your question is a little cryptic.

    It does seem to me that a person filled with hate for 40 years is missing one of the main things that Christianity has to offer. But people do the best they can and sometimes it's just not as good as we think it should be. I would have to think that person had been hurt very deeply perhaps in ways others can't see. Sometimes a person seems to just be born with a missing piece.
  3. solari

    solari Administrator Staff Member

    It's really up to the person. In theory, they could suddenly throw a mental switch, drop all hate, and be as pure as the snow. Or not. It's ultimately up to them.

  4. Prima Donna

    Prima Donna New Member

    Do you understand that faith is from God - a gift from Him, and not because you are perfect, but precisely because you are not? God's grace is unmerited, or else it isn't grace. Of course the Holy Spirit inhabits you, because you believe in God. That faith cannot exist apart from Him. But the struggle between Old Adam and new will always exist. Whereas you may struggle with hating someone or something, another person may struggle with the love of money or some other sin. Sin is always crouching at the door, remember?

    But perhaps you're beating yourself up over a misunderstanding. Perhaps you do not hate the person, but rather his sinful behavior. And there is nothing wrong with that. I repeatedly ask people "Why do we have a full range of God-given emotions, if each of those emotions does not serve a purpose?" For example, if you didn't hate injustice, I wouldn't think much of you as a person. If you didn't hate abusive behavior, what kind of person would you be? Just don't act upon hate in a sinful way.

    Can you talk it out with this person - tell him candidly what is bothering you? Once it is out in the open, and you are dealing with it directly and honestly, this may diffuse some of the hate.

    I hope this helps. :)
  5. Chris0515

    Chris0515 New Member

    Hard to say; because even though I was a regular at church, have read the bible, and believe in God and Jesus Christ whole heartedly, I still have anger issues and hatred towards things at times. But that by no means makes me evil or a bad person just.............human.
  6. karenlr

    karenlr New Member

    Sometimes letting go of pain or hate is the hardest thing to do. I depends on who the person is upset with and why. Don't forget we are human and not quite up to the same standards that the bible sets for us. We try, but we never really make it. A co-worker some years ago told me she would never talk to her family again, no matter what. I sat down with her at break and asked her what she was so upset about... she couldn't tell me, all she knew was her feelings had been hurt a long long time ago and she refused to let go of it. Some people are like that. (BTW she is now on speaking terms with most of her family)
  7. jim1884again

    jim1884again advocating baldness be recognized as a disability

    Everybody is different, but it would be hard to imagine someone hating that much if they really "feel" they have a personal relationhship with Christ. As you know, I don't have that personal relationship with him, but you seem to be very certain about your beliefs. If you are talking about someone other than you, then I would think you too would have a hard time imagining someone experiencing the love of Christ and seeing his message/spirit working through them and still harboring so much hate. If it is you, then only you can decide what to do to "purge" those feelings or forgive the perceived transgressions against you. Ultimately, one can read in your question that you know you would benefit from forgiving or letting go.

    PD's comment, "But the struggle between Old Adam and new will always exist" is something to consider. We aren't perfect, and things do cause us to be angry. But the question to ask, if I were a true believer, is "am I angry at the person or his behavior for the right reason?" Her example about injustice may fall into the category of righteous or justified anger. If you are angry with someone for something because it hurt you personally, but wasn't necessarily something that you perceive to be horribly sinful, then the issue becomes a little more complicated. My experience tells me that it isn't always so simple to tell what the true source of the anger is, but your experience may tell you something different.

    Good luck with trying to come to peace with this issue. It is one with which we all struggle.
  8. June-

    June- New Member

    When I want to change a behavior I am clinging to, I sometimes test it out. I give myself permission to retreat immediately to my old behavior if I don't like where the new one is taking me. Toe in the water. Often I find when I open the door like this that all heck does not break loose. The threat I thought was there wasn't really there at all. But I would only chance a change if I knew I had kept my options open. I don't make declarations publicly about the change I am trying out. It's just between me and me. Then if I want to try to expand on it I can or not.
  9. dizzysheba01

    dizzysheba01 New Member

    Carrying hate poisons us. It is possible to change but the person must make the commitment to do so.
  10. Titus

    Titus New Member

    I think you're asking if harboring hate might indicate a Christian is not saved (not born again.) Jesus said, "love your enemies." I think love is an action verb, not an emotion. Hate is usually attached to an emotion and having emotions is human. The "feeling" of hate might be a sin, but I believe that God knows our heart and He sees Christians through Jesus. Salvation. I think if somebody is saved, then the hate will burden them because the Holy Spirit is convicting them. They can choose to hang on to the hate and live with the burden, or release the hate and feel the burden lifted. Yes, easier said than done but with God all things are possible.

    I have faith that Jesus took on my sins when I accepted Him as my Savior. It makes me want to live as Jesus would want me to. Obviously, I don't. Nobody can. We all fall short. I have issues that keep getting in the way but I'm sure not where I was 10 years ago and, hopefully, not where I'll be 10 years from now.
  11. leviticus

    leviticus Jonah's whale

    One thing seems to jump out at me from all the posts, we are human,, and we make mistakes,, the person I know who is like this is not me, but is in my family,, its been a sad life, you can see the results of hate on their face, sickness after sickness, never no peace,,hate is poison as dizzy said,, seeing their struggles has taught me lessons thats for sure, hate and unforgiveness destroys both the body and the soul.. whether you canbe saved or not, well, I guess I will just have to leave that up to God. Only He knows..
  12. solari

    solari Administrator Staff Member

    Those are the kind of people who can only help themselves. If they won't crack the door open for you or anyone else, then there's not much you can do. You have to be content that you've done your part and just pray that one day their eyes and heart will open.

    Meanwhile, continue to give them unconditional love -- the way your Jesus would.

  13. June-

    June- New Member

    Leviticus, I am not sure in which sense you used the word saved. Whether we can rescue such a person or whether he will be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven. If the latter, I have always believed God knows way more about such people than we do and has made a place for all his children where they can be at peace after death.
  14. Mommywoe

    Mommywoe New Member

    God hasn't abandoned you. Hate destroys so much more than people realize. It grows in our hearts until everything else is but little dots there. His spirit doesn't leave, just goes dormant. I think about it like this, God turned from Jesus on the cross because of sin, but God didn't abandon him. He was right there holding him where Jesus needed to be. God and Jesus both could of said "NO" at anytime but they didn't for a purpose they both understood. That we understand as being Christians. Two things that I have come to understand is:

    1. God doesn't abandon his children. He goes silent, but doesn't leave us. He waits for us to do something or for something to happen outside of our control before he speaks again. My husband has felt this for many years. He feels lost. He reads his bible, prays and mediates, but there is no answer. It is hard to go through this time, but God is there. He's in the valleys and on the mountain peaks with you.

    2. Take the hate to the Lord. Lay it at his feet. He is the only one who can carry it. He is the one who can guide you. Ask yourself "What is the wise thing to do?" Continue as you are, or let it go? God gives us free will for many reasons, use it to find your answer. Search his word. Search your heart. And then pray for his will.

    I know you have heard this before and I hope hearing it again helps. We all need reminders. With that my prayer for you: May God bless you during your search and discovery. May God bless you beyond that. May you learn and use it in the wisest way. Amen.

    God Bless. :)
  15. AmandaJ

    AmandaJ New Member

    my thoughts exactly, you can only help those who want to be helped, but continue to give love and support if they want it
  16. carolyn33

    carolyn33 New Member

    My thoughts-You have to forgive yourself, show Him you have changed and ask His forgiveness. He will forgive no doubt about it, if you are sincere.
  17. cynthia

    cynthia I hope to shed this body for a better one some day

    That reminds me. On the way to work the other day I had the radio on to a Christian Radio station and they shared this comment. Whenever they would get into unforgiveness they would remind themselves what someone had told them. It goes like this:

    "Unforgiveness is like YOU drinking poison and waiting for the OTHER person to die."

    I thought wow! Very profound.
  18. rev

    rev New Member

    The Holy Spirit was given to us with the promise that He would never leave or forsake us. We are told that we will be forgiven by the way we forgave.
    Is it possible? Yes
    Does the other person deserve it? Because of what Christ has forgiven us for, every person deserves our forgiveness - even without their asking!
    Walking into Eternity, that person will know what they missed and how far they fell short if they continue this path.

    Forty years of denying Christ that portion of a heart is a horrific thing. That is what it comes down too, denying the Lordship of Christ in an area of a believer's life. I'm not their yet, but He knows I'm changing day by day, experience by experience.

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