Casual Conversation

I like this article by B.J. Gallagher.


The Buddha was the smartest psychologist I've ever read. More than 2,500 years ago he was teaching people about the human mind so that they might understand themselves better and discover that there was a way out of suffering. Buddha wasn't a god or a messiah -- he was simply a very wise teacher with keen insights into human nature. He learned much by meditating and learning from his own experiences, as well as by observing the behavior of others.

Buddha described the human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. We all have monkey minds, Buddha said, with dozens of monkeys all clamoring for attention. Fear is an especially loud monkey, sounding the alarm incessantly, pointing out all the things we should be wary of and everything that could go wrong.

Buddha showed his students how to meditate in order to tame the drunken monkeys in their minds. It's useless to fight with the monkeys or to try to banish them from your mind because, as we all know, that which you resist persists. Instead, Buddha said, if you will spend some time each day in quiet meditation -- simply calm your mind by focusing on your breathing or a simple mantra -- you can, over time, tame the monkeys. They will grow more peaceful if you lovingly bring them into submission with a consistent practice of meditation.

I've found that the Buddha was right. Meditation is a wonderful way to quiet the voices of fear, anxiety, worry and other negative emotions.

I've also found that engaging the monkeys in gentle conversation can sometimes calm them down. I'll give you an example: Fear seems to be an especially noisy monkey for people like me who own their own business. As the years go by, Fear Monkey shows up less often, but when he does, he's always very intense. So I take a little time out to talk to him.

"What's the worst that can happen?" I ask him.

"You'll go broke," Fear Monkey replies.

"OK, what will happen if I go broke?" I ask.

"You'll lose your home," the monkey answers.

"OK, will anybody die if I lose my home?"

"Hmmm, no, I guess not."

"Oh, well, it's just a house. I suppose there are other places to live, right?"

"Uh, yes, I guess so."

"OK then, can we live with it if we lose the house?"

"Yes, we can live with it," he concludes.

And that usually does it. By the end of the conversation, Fear Monkey is still there, but he's calmed down. And I can get back to work, running my business and living my life.

Learning to manage your monkey mind is one of the best things you can do to transform fear. Pay attention to how your monkeys act -- listen to them and get to know them, especially the Fear Monkey. Take time to practice simple meditation on a regular basis. Learn how to change the conversations in your head. Practice kind, loving, positive self-talk and see how it can transform your fears.

 

Impressive

 

The monkey mind is an interesting thing. A counselor once told me that our thoughts create neural networks in our brain. The networks give off chemicals which cause emotions. I am not explaining it well, but that is what I understood from her. She told me that to break the monkey mind, just keep interrupting with positive thoughts. This weakens the constant looping of frenzied thoughts and eventually the chemicals subside. It works somewhat for me.

That was a poor explanation, but the best I could do right now.

 

It makes sense.

From a Buddhist perspective, a monkey mind refers to a mind that is engaged in incessant chattering. It's all these conversations going on in the mind and our awareness participating in them. It's got to be so exhausting and draining. No wonder emotions gets amped up to the max turning people into nervous wrecks at the end of the day.

I would think that engaging in inner chatter, even with positive thinking, only serves to reinforce that internal dialog. I guess that is why Buddhism encourages meditation - just watch thoughts rise and fall without engaging. Very difficult to do but as with anything else, practice leads to improvement and change.

We don't have to engage with everything we think all the time. Schacter and Singer's two-factor theory of emotion explains the arousal/thinking/reacting deal pretty well.

 

oh gosh that is so true - I have met several people - farmers - people of the land so very similar to your gem

 

agree

 

Can I agree as well? I do!

 

I find meditation very difficult. I can see where that would be so calming, but even when focusing on the breath, I still get those unwanted thoughts.

One thing the therapist told me not to do was argue with the monkeys.

 

That therapist was spot on

 

I'm not familiar with Schacter and Singer so I'm off to research them. TY.

 

I argued with an alpha male Chacma baboon once. Big boy. 40kg on him. I wouldn't even consider it an argument, more so a submissive attempt to herd him out of my tent by stealthily sliding in on one side to slowly & peacefully round him out of the tents main entry.

The result?

He urinated over everything inside my tent, including my cloths & papers. It took hours to lure him out with the last of my edible rations - because I'm not sleeping in a one man tent with a hostile male Chacma. Have you ever seen an alpha Chacma baboon? Spectacular animal, though a baboon species you'll wish to avoid rolling around with. Powerful jaws spotting 2" canine teeth, 35-40kg of strong & quick athletic aggression. Large male Chacma's have been known to intimidate leopards, for instance - thus my desire to get my ape on as soon as he started claiming my belongings with his bodily fluids, was somehow castrated as soon as it displayed its lion sized canines. Far from the outcome I had originally wished for.

Upon my departure -

Sir, your passport its quite stinky & has seen better days.

Yes, that would be baboon urine. & that, I believe *squints & focuses* is paw stamped jerky.

 

Nathan,
You just made my day!

 

Made my day too! I have been humiliated by monkeys in Malaysia (leading to all sorts of revenge fantasies) but nothing like the baboon in the tent!

 

My favorite apes are the Bonobos. They are our closest relatives and are slowly becoming extinct. They are a very peaceful species and have an exuberant sexual lifestyle!

This is a really cool TED talk by Susan Savage-Rumbaugh, a primatologist, on Bonobos and their great similarities to human beings.

http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_savage_rumbaugh_on_apes_that_write.html

 

that was really interesting, Intrepid. Thank you. I'm going to go watch it again.

 

It is interesting. I became fascinated with this species of apes after reading Vanessa Woods' book, Bonobo Handshake. She is a research scientist at Duke University. Take a look at her website and check out her book.

She has beauty, brains, compassion, curiosity and is a huge lover of animals. Bonobo Handshake is a very good read.

http://www.bonobohandshake.com/

 

I put the book on hold at our library and will be getting it tomorrow. Can't wait. Thanks, Intrepid.

 

Oh my gosh! How lovely! I hope you enjoy it.

 

I picked up Bonobo Handshake today . Thanks Intrepid, what a find for me. I am really liking it.