Casual Conversation

She was being unfaithful with a man who was being unfaithful and expected it to end well??? No wonder she can't understand why your reaction would be WTF! Clearly, she needs a good kick in the pants but wants otherwise. Sorry I can't be if more help. I've reached the end if my patience today. Hopefully there will be a refill tomorrow. ;D

 

I can still be compassionate about it but the fact is that I'm being judgmental and that's getting in the way of my being compassionate.

Looks like there is a lesson in here for me too.

 

I don't understand what's not compassionate about asking your friend to take a look at her choices. There is a place for judgment. We've become a society that places great emphasis on political correctness over truth.

 

True.

Actually, I didn't say much besides wtf and WTF. I didn't know what to say! I also said that I needed to wrap my brain around this because it's something I hadn't experienced personally and so I didn't know what to say. Hence, the unfeeling. I think her expectation was that I reply from the heart, not the head.

 

Having recently watched three good friends get blindsided by unfaithful spouses who ultimately ended up leaving them (two with small children still at home) my heart would not have been in a good place to respond to your friends dilemma. Fortunately, there are no children involved in this situation. I don't think your response was that far fetched. Geez, give a person a moment to wrap her brain around something so she can find something kind to say. Maybe the best thing to say would be something like, "I'm sorry you're hurting." And let that be that. Because no matter the cause of the hurt, you can probably still be genuinely sorry she's hurting.

 

The last thing she said was that there was something special about being desired by a man other than your own and that now that this was gone, it was making her feel useless.

I seriously can't relate. Not because of the man part, but because I've never felt useless. I don't know what that feels like.

 

So, she likes using people to make her feel useful? I'm sorry, still having a hard time with this one.

 

I told you. It's a tough one

I've known her since I was 18 years old. We've been very close friends forever. I know her Man. I was there when they met. We were all in the same group of friends. I don't know her man. I moved away when all of that went down (no pun intended).

She was in love with two men.That's the essence of the story.

 

I couldnt even follow the story. I think your friend will always have a complicated life.

 

I dunno about that. She is very loved; is truly a sweet and caring person. She made a poor choice. But that's my opinion. Living with the consequences is going to be tough, but then again, it's an opportunity to grow.

Unless she and the man make up and the triangle continues.

In that case, WTF is all she's gonna get out of me

 

How many years, lol?

 

Until she finds her own worth outside of another person. I'm still her friend and I still love her dearly.

 

Thats nice, shes gonna need a friend.

 

Planning a trip to Key Largo. Maybe.
Sorry about your friend. People are complicated.
Layers and layers.
Nothing is more dear than a life long friend.

 

Yes, layers and layers. But misery is a choice. Maybe her life kicks into gear when she is at a certain level of miserable.

 

Kind of like I can't work until I'm staring a frickin' deadline right in the face??? Do you know how peaceful my life would be if I would just learn to manage my time?? Grrr.

 

Like a script she plays out perhaps. Choice is there if you see it, until then what?

I have heard that triangulation is always just a way to avoid intimacy issues of one type or another.

Im discovering old Bauhaus Goth music...its awesome. I love Peter Murphys voice anyhow.

 

Oh man, Im already looking towards summer vacation. The Keys look good.

 

^^ That's awesome! We're going to be taking an airplane too this summer and flying across the Atlantic.

 

We're heading to Mexico January 15 Can't wait to get back to some sun and warm weather.

I am so tired of not feeling well on a daily basis This is supposed to be my feeling good time of year