I feel awful.

I am at work, and I want to die. I am feeling drunk, my computer screen is a source of agony, the noise is killing me, cuts through me like a machete. I am forcing myself to eat, but man, it feels gruesome. I have not vomited, but I want to. All I hear is that dull ringing roar, my head feels sloshy, and I walk like a dumb drunk. The entire place is looking at me like I am a letch or something. Everytime something around me moves, my peripheral vision knocks me off balance.

I cannot keep my eyes on something without straining. The keep lolling about like an alkie.

I don't know how to cope with this. The Sert (sic) is not doing what it needs to be doing, and I am out of the damned ativan. It only made me tired, anyway.

Any suggestions on how to make this a little more tolerable? I haven't got a laugh in me right now... sorry. It's just that bad.

Mc.

 

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I also use valium the same way nursemom does, it's the only drug that has helped me through my ordeal. I too always carry soft ear plugs for noisey situations. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Aww Dave, that's horrible, what rotten luck. I wish I could give you some suggestions but right now the only thing I can think of is get to bed, lie down and keep those eyes closed but you can't very well do that at work. It's SO damn hard when you're trying to focus and you can't. The ativan didn't do a thing for me either when I was on it except make me sleepy, for me the clonazepam worked better at keeping me calmed down but I'm off that now. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day for you, just know that my heart goes out to you because I know the hell you're going through all too well. Loretta

 

I work in a call center.. lucky me.. Earplugs are not an option. I will have to look at the valium I guess. Laying down rarely helps.. I find at home I standing or laying. The dark and quiet help though. God help me if I move my head too suddenly. I pray to God that this lessens as time goes on. I lived with dizzy for years, but this is much worse now since my rather violent attack a week and a half ago. Thanks for the advice on the meds, though. Won't help me much today, but it might down the line.

 

Loretta. I am smiling a bit.. although I feel like screaming blue murder at myself for this wonderful circuit my brain keeps travelling on. You always seem to make me feel a little bit better. Thanks. I hate snotnosing, but right now, I am kinda feeling vulnerable and raw, and a little bit tired of this. I wonder how people cope with being heavy drug users or drunks. I imagine that drugs would make you dizzy (been on morphine, I feel that kind of dizzy right now), and try to make themselves feel this way on purpose. It just does not compute. I like knowing my brain is alert and sharp. Right now, it is being pulled like taffy. AAAAARRRRRGGGG! There, that made me feel much better. NOT! LOL.

Thanks gals. I will keep trying.

 

I also work a call center! I got a special head set i could adjust sound and not have to move my head back and forth between our 2 computers. I also would go into my office (lights out) and pop my valium, put head back and close eyes and it would go away within 20 mins to 1/2 hr. I also got rid of the flourescent lights, they affected me (nice small desk lamp).... i really went to town at work making it more bearable. Told everyone to keep voices down, explained how it kills my ears! I literally printed out info on Menieres so my boss and everyone knew what it was like to be me. They are all wonderful about it too, i'm fortunate. Hope you feel better soon, get some meds!

 

Will do, but it is going to not be available to me until after my ENT visit on the 15th. I have to ride this out until then. i have a dual foam headset with adjustable controls, but my system is linked into an audio messenger system, and in order for my customers to hear me, I have to turn up the controls... then that infernal thing, which i am required to keep on, kicks in, like a hot poker through my head with those message blips, fed directly into my ears.. It shocks my head so badly it literally throws my eyes for a second, and then the dizzies restart. I want to shut it off so there is no more audio (I am a computer tech so I know how), but the admin in the company has locked my computer so I cannot manipulate the controls. I don't have an office, we are all gopher holed, and the flourescent lights, as bad as they are, are at least directed to the ceiling. I wish I had a soft pink incandescent bulb to work by, and I have them all over my house, as I found I am extremely light sensitive these days, but I could not even plug it in if I wanted to. Building code would never allow it. the only thing I have available is a dark nursing station, if it gets intolerable, I will be using it. My boss is getting testy about all the time off lately, don't blame him. I will be taking leave shortly to deal with getting some control of this, but I think I am going to follow your lead, and get that printout.

 

McCubbins - I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. I don't have any magic cures, but I can say that the first weeks (months) are usually the worst. That's when we're just finding out all the wonderful : and varied symptoms we can get with this lovely ailment. And that's usually when we have the least amount of information, and feel the most powerless.

It's a huge pain in the butt that it takes so long for all the tests to rule out other stuff, and that sometimes it's a matter of trial and error to find out what meds work best for you.

In the meantime, there are some minor things you can do, such as getting enough hydration every day (to flush out excess sodium and generally stay healthy), get plenty of sleep, and do whatever you can - meditation? prayer? play? to reduce stress on your body. There are other suggestions I've see posted as well.

I guess the good news is that you won't die from MM, although some days it might seem like a viable alternative. But hang in there, Friend.....it WILL get better. You will eventually find ways to manage your symptoms, and with a new definition of what is "normal", you will find that your life is only inconvenienced, not ruined, from this disease.

Hoping you feel better soon,

deercharmer

p.s. Sipping ice-cold ginger ale (with most of the fizzies stirred out) works for me in calming down the nausea.

 

I hope you're better. My doc will prescribe valium over the phone as needed. If they do give you antivert, it might be worth a try to call and ask them. Steroids also will jump start my system when I get very bad. I try not to use these too often but my doc will also give them if I can't get out of a spin cycle. I also use the meniette device which has been a huge help with symptoms. Best of luck, Lisa

 

deercharmer, thx.. I feel right now that I am living this, and :'( that I have to endure, but everyone here knows this feeling I am certain. I can understand having an episode. I had a pretty violent one. But what I am wrestling with is why it takes so long to reset. I had a horrible one now, thinking back, about 3 or 4 years ago. I actually thought I was suffering a stroke. I was pinned to the couch, a train roaring through my ears, tornado, actually, would be more apt, and walking was impossible. And I walked.. through a very busy downtown core, to a very nasty clinic that treated me so badly I promised eternal scorn on them in my sick little mind. And I was very very dizzy for a while.. I can't remember how long now. This attack was worse at the outset. And the after effects are awful, like the last time. But they did peter off, just to dizzy and tinnitus. This time, the roaring in my ears are less prevelant, more of a constant buzz, my head feels very much like I have green slime rolling around up there, but I cannot say my ears feel full. Then again, I would not know what empty ears feel like, as my ears are always a mess. Nausea, it comes and goes. yesterday was a diet day to be sure. I guess I am going to have to read more, and try to understand it, but I just hate that I have to live like a waterbed in a spin cycle all the time until whatever percipitated that horrible attack subsides. Anyone know why these symptoms are so long lasting?

 

Flourescent lights kill me too! And, yes, I'm noise intolerant. Always have been, even as a child, according to my mom.

I can't tell you why the symptoms last so long, but I hope you get to feeling better soon.

 

Thanx.. you too ThornInDaesSide. You seem to have it a lot worse than I... and I would not wish this on Hitler! I hope your bed starts being a bed again, instead of a portal to hell. I cannot even fathom living that way. You're in my prayers.

 

Thanx. I'm doing better today, just feeling lopsided, as though an anchor were pulling me down on one side.

Grrr. This drives me nuts.

 

LOL... so am I.. I need my Sert right about now, but it's an hour and a half away from me.. and I am really wobbly on my legs, and my head is lolling like a dumb rag doll

 

I'm gonna have a Medic Alert bracelet made with my info, and a line stating that I am not drunk.

I love Hurricanes, and margaritas, but can't have them anymore.

 

I can kiss Scotch neat goodbye! Medic Alert...I am thinking a sandwich board.

 

Dave,- I've just got up to take my Serc and decided I'd have a look in here to see if you're still with us. Just out of curiosity, how much Serc are you taking ? I WAS on 16mg. 3 times a day but in Oct. I was having such a horrible time, like you are now, it was none stop and the Dr. (GP ) upped the dose to 24 mgs. 3 times a day. Most drugstores have a problem with that dose so he's put me on 1 1/2 of a 16mg. 3 times a day, just to lessen the hassles of them calling him all the time. It HAS helped and he did tell me that this is the maximum dose.. I was on here earlier and while I was I must have gotten sympathy symptoms, certainly hope that's all it was LOL because all of a sudden that wind in my ear roared in to a gale force sound or maybe like a tornado and headed for my bed real quick. So at the moment I'm sitting here on pins and needles wondering what if anything is going to come next. AND- we're supposed to be going out to dinner for 6:30 ?????? Don't know whether you've been following this Jr. World hockey series that's coming from Sweden but the game today just ended and in case you might be interested WE can stand up and say "WHOOP-EEEE". Think the score was 5-3.... I started to watch it but that's about when the wind started to roar too and all I saw was about the last 10 minutes or so. Here's hoping that the 15th comes real quick but know it won't come quick enough for you and I hope this guy will be able to give you some answers and at least get you on something that does work for you. Keep you chin up kiddo, there HAS to be better days coming. Loretta

 

Why it is lasting so long is a hard question. When i had my violent attack last March i was down and out for 8 months (it started mildly in January). I was literally having 2 to 3 nasty vertigo spins a day. Going to work was a nightmare. I eventually HAD to take one whole month off and just hang out, do nothing but relax, take my valium and relax, eat good, take my valium, and do MORE research. It reallllllllly helped me to get out of there. I ended up taking valium on a daily basis at end, and thats when i started going into vertigo remission and even sound sensitivity got better. I kept up with small amounts of exercise, and knew i would spin afterwards but kept it up. I was determined to rid this beast! It's when i went to acupuncture my whole world changed, after 3rd visit, vertigo GONE and my stiff neck and upper back pain GONE and to this day it's GONE! So, hang tough and have them let you turn off that BEEP thingy, that's job related illness! Show them notes from docs, you have every right to feel better at work!

 

I hear ya..... that is what I was experiencing and I couldn't handle it. The one day I just broke down and cried at work. I felt so helpless. that is when my doctor took me off the serc. I'm feeling better. I also take gravol with ginger. It seems to help when i feel sick. maybe talk to your doctor and see if there is another optionty to meds. I know by reading the posts that it had been a life saver for some but for me....going off of it and not using it when I'm not having a vertigo attack it made me feel excatly what you are descrbing. Don't do anything on your own without consulting your physican though. hang in there and try to rest when you can.
marci